 Parenting in the age of social media presents its own unique challenges. It's essential to recognise that as parents, you're navigating uncharted waters alongside your teens. Here are some compassionate and validating tips on how to support your teen in this digital age:
Model Healthy Habits: We often underestimate the impact of our own actions. Your teen looks up to you, so start by acknowledging that it's not easy for anyone to resist the lure of social media. Share your own struggles and triumphs in managing screen time. By modeling healthy social media habits, you're showing your teen that it's perfectly normal to have boundaries and take breaks. Understanding the Highlight Reel: Social media can be a breeding ground for comparison and self-doubt. It's crucial to discuss with your teen that what they see online is often a carefully curated version of reality. People tend to share their best moments, not their everyday challenges. Encourage your teen to see beyond the filters and highlight reels. Validation of Feelings: Your teen's emotions around social media are valid. It's okay for them to feel overwhelmed or anxious about it. Let them know that their feelings are understood and respected. This open dialogue can foster trust and make them more comfortable discussing their online experiences with you. Authenticity Matters: Emphasise to your teen that authenticity trumps perfection. They don't need to conform to unrealistic standards. Encourage them to be true to themselves and remind them that it's their unique qualities that make them special. Being authentic is far more valuable than striving for a "picture-perfect" image. "Disconnect to Connect" Time: To strengthen family bonds, consider setting aside dedicated times when everyone disconnects from devices and focuses on connecting with each other. Dinner time is an excellent opportunity for meaningful conversations. Encourage your teen to share their achievements, no matter how small, and celebrate their strengths. Active Listening: When your teen shares their wins or concerns, be an active and empathetic listener. Show genuine interest in their hobbies, interests, and aspirations. Ask open-ended questions and provide a safe space for them to express themselves. Addressing Challenges: Life isn't all about victories; it's also about overcoming challenges. Encourage your teen to open up about their struggles, assuring them that it's okay to seek help when needed. Your unwavering support will help them navigate life's hurdles with confidence. Consistency is Key: Make "disconnect to connect" time a regular part of your family routine. Consistency reinforces the importance of face-to-face interactions and sends a powerful message that your teen's well-being and experiences matter. Talking about Fabrication: Engage your teen in critical thinking about what they see on social media. Encourage them to question whether posts truly represent someone's life. Share your own experiences where social media didn't reflect reality, demonstrating that even adults are not immune to these illusions. Embrace Individuality: Finally, empower your teen to focus on their own values and interests rather than comparing themselves to others online. By helping them understand the constructed nature of social media, you're guiding them towards a stronger sense of self and confidence in their choices.  Discovering your adolescent is self-harming can be very confronting. It can bring up feelings of powerlessness, but there are things you can do to support your adolescent. 1. Listen without judgement Adolescents who self-harm may feel ashamed, embarrassed, or frightened to talk about it. Therefore, it is essential to create a safe and non-judgmental environment that promotes open communication. 2. Help them identify triggers Encourage your adolescent to identify what triggers their self-harming behaviour. These might be topics, situations or feelings. Support them in finding healthy coping mechanisms to deal with these triggers to replace the self-harming behaviour. 3. Encourage them to seek professional help Self-harm can be a sign of underlying mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, or trauma. Encourage the adolescent to seek professional help from a therapist, counsellor, or psychiatrist. 4. Teach relaxation techniques Support your adolescent to learn relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation to help them manage their emotions and reduce anxiety. 5. Encourage positive self-talk Encourage your adolescent to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. This can help boost their self-esteem and reduce the urge to self-harm. 6. Provide a distraction When the adolescent feels the urge to self-harm, provide them with a distraction such as going for a walk or doing a fun activity to take their mind off the urge. 7. Offer unconditional love and support Finally, offer your adolescent unconditional love and support. Let them know that you are there to help them through this difficult time and that they are not alone.  Imogen Russell-Head
Psychologist  The experience of losing a loved one to death, the many months and years that pass, are clearly profound, and often difficult times for families, including children. Talking to children about death is a difficult and sensitive topic for many parents. It can also build connection, trust and support within families. By having an open and honest conversation with your children, you can help them understand and process the loss of a loved one. In this blog post we will explore some tips for talking to children about death. Trust your own culture and family traditions, instincts, beliefs and spirituality. It can sometimes feel like we need a ‘best’ or a ‘normal’ way to approach the topic of death, but the truth is we are all learning to do this together. If you are unsure about how to talk to your own children about death, you may like to reach out for professional advice, but you may equally find the answers inside your family, a close circle of friends or your community. Use clear and age-appropriate language. When talking to children about death, it’s important to use clear language. It’s often best to avoid ambiguous language and euphemisms. Using phrases such as “went away” or “went to sleep” may lead to confusion and difficulty for children, given the overlap of these concepts with other everyday experiences. It is possible that this confusion might lead to more fear and anxiety, rather than understanding. Be honest and open It’s important to be honest and open with children, when talking about death. Children will naturally have questions, if not immediately, then after they have given things some thought. Children are very thoughtful and perceptive, if we are not honest they may sense that something is wrong. It can be best to be open with them, to build trust, encourage a sense of safety, connection and understanding. Validate their emotions. There is no rule book for feeling and navigating the profound experience of loss, and the feelings can change over time. Children may be watching other family members, and wondering if they are reacting ‘properly’. It’s important for children to know that there is no correct way to feel, that things may feel surprisingly easy for a time, or very difficult, on and off, for a while. Notice your own needs. Talking to children about death may be one of the most difficult conversations you ever have. Answering their questions, and validating their emotions, whilst organising and balancing all of the other needs and demands placed in front of you, is likely to have an effect on you at some point. It may be that you do well in the moment, and later realise your own needs, or maybe you need self-care, self-compassion and support right away. Either way, be kind to yourself, and seek what you need, when the time is right for you. Seek professional help if necessary. Experiencing great challenges and changes in these major life moments is normal. Supporting children through these moments is also normal. However, if your child is having a hard time coping, and you feel like you could use some extra support, a psychologist can support parents, help your child process their emotions and develop healthy coping strategies.  As a parent, it can be tough to see your child struggling with emotional or social difficulties. You want to help them, but sometimes it's hard to know where to start. That's where psychological therapy can come in. If you're considering bringing your child to their first session at Hopscotch and Harmony, it's natural to wonder what to expect. In this blog post, I'll walk you through what your child's first therapy session might look like. Before the Session Before the session, you'll have some paperwork to fill out. This will include things like your child's medical history, any medications they're taking, and details about their symptoms. It's important to be as honest and thorough as possible when filling out these forms as the more information your therapist has, the better they'll be able to help your child. The Initial Session The first session is usually a parent only session. This is an opportunity for the psychologist to get to know you and to gather more information about your child’s symptoms, challenges and strengths. The psychologist may ask you some questions, such as:
The Therapy Session After the initial session, your child will begin their therapy sessions. These sessions may be individual, family-based, or a combination of both. During the first therapy session, your child and the psychologist will likely engage in games and fun activities to begin building rapport and developing a therapeutic alliance. It's important to understand that therapy is a process, and it may take time for your child and you to see progress. The psychologist will work with you and your child to set goals and track progress, so you can see how your child is doing. Taking your child to their first psychological therapy session can feel daunting, but it's an important step towards helping them better understand themselves and improve their well-being. By being open and honest with your psychologist and supporting your child through the process, you can help them build the tools they need to thrive. It might also be helpful to show your child the profile of their clinician on the Hopscotch and Harmony website to help subside any nerves prior to the first session.
 One in three women in Australia will experience a loss during pregnancy. Often it can be incredibly personal, and devastating. But everyone’s experience is unique, as are their feelings about the loss and how they chose to grieve. If someone you know has chosen to let you know they have had a recent miscarriage or suffered a loss during their pregnancy, it can be difficult to know what to say. Avoid saying…”At least you know you can get pregnant.” Why not? This may be the woman’s first or fifth pregnancy loss. Being able to ‘get pregnant’ may not be the concern and saying this minimises the loss. Instead try… “I am so sorry for your loss.” Avoid saying… “It just wasn’t meant to be.” Why not? Often the reasons for miscarriage are unknown. Such statements do not make the loss easier, and the woman may not have the same beliefs as yourself. Instead try… “How are you feeling? I am here if you need to talk or I can give you space.” Avoid saying… “It isn’t like you lost a baby, it was just cells at this stage.” Why not? A loss, no matter how small, can still feel monumental and can be grieved. Instead try… “I am here if you need - whatever you need just let me know.” Avoid saying… “Next time you should, “...”, it will help you stay pregnant.” Why not? Chances are the person has already looked into every trick under the sun, medical or alternative, to help their pregnancy progress, and may be placing a lot of blame on themselves already. Instead try… “It wasn’t your fault, you did nothing wrong.” Avoid saying… “I knew someone who had 3 miscarriages and now they have 2 healthy children.” Why not? This is their experience, not yours. Most people do not want to be reminded of the ‘successful; pregnancies as they are going through a loss. Instead try… “My heart hurts for you right now. I love you and you are are allowed to be sad.” Avoid saying… “Lots of women have miscarriages. You just have to pick yourself up and keep going like everyone else does.” Why not? Everyone experiences grief differently. While normalisation can be a comfort, feelings should not be minimised. Instead try… “Grief can be really hard. Take the time you need.”
 A tantrum is an outburst of intense, emotion-driven behaviour that can be exhibited by young children. They typically start between the ages of 1 and 4, and can last well into later childhood years. A meltdown is ALSO an intense and overwhelming emotional response that can be exhibited by individuals, but they can occur at any age, and are more commonly associated with neurodevelopmental conditions such as autism, sensory processing disorder, ADHD, anxiety, as well as some mental health difficulties, such as PTSD. During both tantrums, and meltdowns, an individual may scream, cry, kick, throw objects, hurt themselves accidentally or on purpose, or withdraw and seem to shut down. Tantrums can occur in response to frustration, anger, or other strong emotions, and can be triggered by a variety of factors, such as hunger, fatigue, overstimulation, or a desire for attention or control. Tantrums are a normal part of child development and can be a way for children to express their emotions when they do not yet have the language skills to do so effectively. Meltdowns can also be triggered by a variety of factors, such as sensory overload, emotional stress, changes in routine, or difficulty with communication or social interaction. In both tantrums and meltdowns, the behaviours can be distressing for both the individual experiencing the difficult emotions, and for those around them. And it’s important to note that something might start as a tantrum, but as the individual becomes increasingly overwhelmed by their emotions and the bodily sensations and stress these bring about, they might move into meltdown. In either instance, we need to understand that the child or individual isn’t behaving this way on purpose and that they feel awful. Nobody likes having these strong and overwhelming emotions, and most of us want to feel calm and happy rather than angry and upset. A calm, compassionate, and curious approach to individuals who are experiencing strong emotions is often the fastest way to both help them back to calm, and understand what happened to them. If you or your child are struggling with tantrums or meltdowns, you might like to have a look at our Director, Jessica Cleary’s evidence-based Calm and Connected Parenting Program to help you understand what’s going on, and to calm the chaos. You can find a link HERE.
 Bullying is a serious issue that can have a lasting impact on mental health and wellbeing. As a parent it can be heart-breaking to learn that your child is being bullied. We all want the best for our children. We often wonder how they are going at school, hoping for them, and wishing for them a rewarding and safe experience. If you have learned that your child is being bullied at school, there are steps you can take to support your child and address the situation. In this blog post, we’ll explore some tips for what to do if your child is getting bullied. 1. Listen to your child The first step is to listen. Your child may feel confused, scared or even ashamed. If they are telling you they are being bullied then they are demonstrating bravery and self-protection. It is important to acknowledge and reward your child for this healthy, brave behaviour. Encourage them to share their experience without judgment. Validate their emotions and let them know what is happening to them is not ok. Let them know you and the school are going to help make a change. 2. Contact the school and advocate for change Schools have an enormous responsibility. Document the bullying. Contact the school. Speak to educators and administrators that are directly responsible for safety. Talk with educators that know and care about your child. Arrange for a meeting with the teacher, principal, school counsellor, and/ or wellbeing coordinator. Share your concerns and provide any documentation you have. Ask the school directly, what is their bullying and safety policy? Ask what steps the school will take to address the bullying and how they will support your child. 3. Assess the level of risk If it is not safe for your child to attend the school, the school needs to be aware of your concern. If you are confident the school is taking steps to protect and support your child, you may like to follow up, check to see what steps have been taken, and continue advocating for change. 4. Teach your child coping skills Bullying can have a significant impact on self-esteem and confidence. You may have your own coping skills to share, perhaps your child already has a set of excellent skills for resilience and managing adversity. You might like to find and explore resources together online, in books, podcasts, or elsewhere. Encourage them to engage in activities they enjoy, celebrate who they are, spend time with supportive family and friends, or express themselves through art, sport, writing or music. 5. Seek professional help if necessary If your child is struggling to cope with the bullying experience, this is normal. You may need extra time, resources or support. If your child is experiencing significant mental health effects, a psychologist can provide support by teaching your child additional coping strategies, and offering a safe place for them to process the experience and supporting parents. The Victorian Government provides a number of practical steps and advice for parents, schools and teachers to support children who have experienced bullying. You may like to explore the website here https://www.vic.gov.au/bully-stoppers written by Tim Walker
Provisional Psychologist  Dyslexia is referred to as a Specific Learning Disorder with an impairment in reading in the DSM-5-TR. It is recommended families look for a specialised literacy tuition program that is designed for dyslexic children. These programs should have trained professionals who understand the needs of dyslexic children and can tailor their teaching methods to meet those needs. Check for the qualifications and experience of the tutors. Make sure that they have experience working with dyslexic children and have the necessary training and certification to provide effective literacy tuition. Look for programs that offer multisensory teaching methods. Dyslexic children often learn better through hands-on activities, visual aids, and other interactive methods that engage multiple senses. Consider the location, schedule, and cost of the program. Choose a program that is convenient and affordable for your family. Remember, what works for one child may not work for another. It may take some trial and error to find the right literacy tuition program for your child. Evidence-based programs and support for dyslexia:
 Parent engagement is an important part of therapy with children, and can help ensure the best possible outcomes for the child and family. By working together with your psychologist/clinician, parents can play an active role in supporting their child's mental health and well-being. Parents provide valuable information: Parents know their children better than anyone else and are a key source of information about their child's behaviour, emotions, and experiences. By sharing your observations and concerns you help your clinician gain a better understanding of your child's needs and goals, and develop an effective, accurate treatment plan. Enhances treatment outcomes: Research has shown that parent involvement in their child's therapy can lead to better treatment outcomes. When parents are actively involved in the therapy process, they can reinforce the skills and strategies learned in therapy at home, which can help their child and the family make progress more quickly. Increases motivation and engagement: Children are more likely to be motivated and engaged in therapy when their parents are involved. When parents participate in therapy sessions, it can help the child feel supported and comfortable, and encourage them to participate more fully in the process. Supports ongoing progress: When parents are involved in their child's therapy, they can better monitor their child's progress and identify any areas that may need additional attention. This can help the clinician adjust the treatment plan as needed and support ongoing progress that meets your family’s needs.
 So you did it! You’ve been studying for 5 years to become a provisionally registered psychologist and you’re finally ready to apply for jobs. Congratulations! But where-to from here?
As a provisional psychologist in Australia, there are lots of different settings in which you can work to gain the necessary experience and supervision required to become a fully registered psychologist. Some of those setting might include:
Whilst there are many different types of ways that you can work toward your general registration, we like to think that we offer something special at Hopscotch and Harmony. One of the biggest things that we hear from psychologists - provisionally, generally, or endorsed registration - is that they think, or have experienced, private practice as really isolating work, where they’re like ships in the night with their colleagues. They may come into the office, see their clients, do their clinical admin, and head home without ever seeing one of their colleagues during their working day or week. We do things differently at H&H. For a start, we will work with you carefully to ensure that your caseload is made up child and adolescent clients who light you up - rather than groaning as the alarm rings in the morning, you’ll be ready to jump out of bed and start your work day seeing the kinds of clients you love to work with. Secondly, your wellbeing is our priority. We cap the number of clients you see a day at a maximum of 4 early in the internship and 5 later in the internship, so you have plenty of time to work on researching your clients’ presentations, undertaking your clinical admin, and ensuring that you know how to work with each and every one of your clients. We also offer a maximum of 4 client days per week in our internship program, so you can dedicate one day a week to finalising your university studies - because that’s how we need to think of your internship year, the finalisation of all the hard yards you’ve put in at university to date. Third, we make sure that we hire the right kind of people to work at H&H. The kind of people we hire want to work with a team. We offer lots of ways to make sure you have plenty of time to connect with your colleagues. We know that a sense of belonging at work is vital to your wellbeing, and it’s one of our primary priorities. Finally, we pair you with one of our talented, experienced Board-Approved supervisors to ensure that you get your learning and development needs met, and that you’re on track to get through your internship year as close to that 12 month mark as is feasible. If you’ve recently finished your Masters of Professional Psychology and have experience in providing therapy to children and adolescents, and are interested in speaking to us about what we can offer then please get in touch. Our aim is to provide you with the working environment that will help you become a confident, competent, and supported psychologist working in Private Practice, If you have secured an internship elsewhere and are seeking Primary or Secondary supervision in the child and adolescent space then we can help you there too. Helping Teens Through Disappointment: 5 Compassionate Strategies for Uncontrollable Outcomes30/6/2023
by Jessica Cleary, Psychologist  Like many parents in Australia I have a devastated teenager in the house after fruitless efforts trying to get Taylor Swift tickets this week. As parents, we strive to support our teenagers through life's ups and downs, including moments of disappointment that are beyond their control. Whether it's missing out on tickets to Tay Tay or facing other circumstances where they have no influence over the outcome, our role as compassionate and loving parents becomes crucial. By providing the right guidance and support, we can help our teenagers navigate disappointment and emerge stronger and more resilient. Here are five tips to assist you in helping your teenager through situations where they lack control, with love and understanding. 1) Practice active empathy: In moments of disappointment, actively empathise with your teenager's feelings and experiences. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand the depth of their emotions. Let them know that you are there to listen and support them wholeheartedly. By showing genuine empathy, you create a strong bond and provide reassurance that they are not alone in their struggles. 2) Avoid comparisons: Avoid comparing your teenager's disappointment to others' experiences or minimising their feelings. Each person's disappointments are valid and unique to them. Remember that everyone has different expectations and sensitivities, and what might seem insignificant to one person can be deeply disappointing for another. By avoiding comparisons, you create an atmosphere of compassion and respect for their individual emotions. Any sentence that starts with "At least..." is one to be avoided. 3) Encourage self-expression: Once the dust settles a little, encourage your teenager to express their disappointment through creative outlets, such as writing, painting, or playing music. These forms of self-expression can provide a cathartic release for their emotions and allow them to process their disappointment in a constructive way. By embracing their creativity, you empower them to channel their feelings into something meaningful and transformative. 4) Be patient and non-judgmental: It's essential to be patient and non-judgmental when supporting your teenager through disappointment. Avoid offering quick solutions or trying to snap them out of it. It's very uncomfortable for us to see our children distressed so often we can try to shift them out of their 'mood' to ease our own distress. That's not what's needed here. Instead, provide them with the space and time they need to process their emotions and navigate their own path to healing. By demonstrating patience and non-judgment, you foster an environment of trust, emotional safety and unconditional love. 5) Nurture self-compassion: In situations where disappointment arises from circumstances beyond their control, it's crucial to nurture self-compassion within your teenager. Encourage them to be kind to themselves and avoid self-blame or negative self-talk. If you notice any of this type of talk, gently remind them that disappointments are not personal failures and that they are not defined by external outcomes. Teach them to practice self-care and self-compassion by engaging in activities that promote their well-being, such as spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, or engaging in mindfulness practices. It’s so hard to bear witness to our children’s experience of disappointment. Remember that your support and understanding are invaluable in helping your teenager face these challenges and emerge stronger. These practices can help your teenager embrace the uncertainties of life, navigate disappointments, and forge a path towards a fulfilling and resilient future with a compassionate heart.
 Fear, anxiety, and stress are all related emotional and psychological responses to perceived threats or challenges, but there are important differences between them.
Fear is a natural and immediate emotional response to a real or perceived threat. It is a normal response to danger and is often accompanied by physical sensations, such as increased heart rate, rapid breathing, and sweating. For example, if you hear a loud noise in the middle of the night, you may feel fear because you perceive a potential threat. Anxiety, on the other hand, is a more diffuse and generalised emotional response to perceived threats or challenges. It often involves a sense of uncertainty or apprehension about future events or situations. Anxiety can be triggered by a wide range of stimuli, and it may manifest as physical symptoms such as restlessness, fatigue, or muscle tension. Stress is a physiological and psychological response to challenging or demanding situations. It is a normal response to situations that require increased effort, such as work deadlines or public speaking. However, chronic or prolonged stress can have a negative effect on physical and mental health. PERCEIVED THREAT OR CHALLENGE Fear = Immediate response to actual or perceived danger. ⬇️ Anxiety = Diffuse and general feeling of unease or apprehension ⬇️ Stress = Physiological and psychological response to demands or pressures In summary, understanding the differences between fear, anxiety, and stress can help individuals more effectively recognize and develop strategies to manage and cope with each one. Additionally, by recognising the signs and symptoms of these responses, individuals can seek appropriate treatment or support when necessary. Overall, understanding the differences between fear, anxiety, and stress is an important step in promoting emotional and psychological well-being.  Dyslexia is referred to as a Specific Learning Disorder with an impairment in reading in the DSM-5-TR.
It is recommended families look for a specialised literacy tuition program that is designed for dyslexic children. These programs should have trained professionals who understand the needs of dyslexic children and can tailor their teaching methods to meet those needs. Check for the qualifications and experience of the tutors. Make sure that they have experience working with dyslexic children and have the necessary training and certification to provide effective literacy tuition. Look for programs that offer multisensory teaching methods. Dyslexic children often learn better through hands-on activities, visual aids, and other interactive methods that engage multiple senses. Consider the location, schedule, and cost of the program. Choose a program that is convenient and affordable for your family. Remember, what works for one child may not work for another. It may take some trial and error to find the right literacy tuition program for your child. Evidenced based programs and support for Dyslexia:
 The way we view our bodies has a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves and how we live our lives. Our perception of our bodies and the bodies of others starts to take shape early, and can be influenced greatly by our family’s values and beliefs, but also by ours peers and broader influences like the media.
Unfortunately, from a young age children begin to show dissatisfaction and concern about their appearance and weight, which can then lead to engaging in behaviours that attempt to control or change their young bodies. By the end of the teenage years, most young people have been on a diet of some kind. As adults, the majority of women wish to lose weight (even those who are in the healthy weight range!) and approximately two-thirds of women withdraw from activities due to feeling negatively about their bodies. So how can we move towards being more accepting of our bodies and feeling better about ourselves? Here are some tips on how to build a better relationship with your body:
If you or your child are needing further support around body image or eating, please contact the clinic to book an appointment with a psychologist or dietician Kara Vermaak. Provisional Psychologist  As a parent, it's understandable that you want to be the best caregiver you can be for your child, but often parents find themselves busy, tired, overwhelmed and unable to connect with their children in the way they’d love to. It's important to remember that it’s not about being a perfect parent, but trying to be a more mindful parent. Being a mindful parent is about being present and compassionate with yourself and your child, and this takes practice. Practicing mindfulness as a parent can be a powerful tool for enriching your relationship with your child and fostering a deeper sense of connection and understanding. By being more present with your child and practicing non-judgmental awareness, you can create a safe and supportive space for them to explore and grow. Here are 3 steps to being a more mindful parent: 1. Practice self-care As a parent, it can be easy to get caught up in the demands of daily life and neglect your own wellbeing. However, taking care of yourself is essential for being a mindful parent. Make time for activities that nourish your mind and body, such as exercise, eating healthy, or spending time in nature. By prioritizing your own well-being, you'll be better equipped to be present with your children. 2. Practice active listening Mindful parenting involves being fully present and engaged with your children. One way to do this is to practice active listening. This means giving your full attention to your child when they're speaking, without interrupting or rushing them. Listen to their words, tone, and body language, and respond with empathy and understanding. By truly listening to your child, you can deepen your connection with them and help them feel seen and heard. 3. Practice non-judgmental awareness Mindful parenting involves being aware of your own thoughts and emotions, as well as those of your child. Rather than reacting to challenging situations, try to approach them with non-judgmental awareness. This means observing your own thoughts and emotions without judgment or criticism, and responding with kindness and compassion. By modelling this kind of awareness and acceptance for your child, you can help them develop a healthy relationship with their own thoughts and emotions. Remember to be gentle with yourself as you cultivate your mindfulness practice. It's okay if you have moments of distraction or judgment - that's all part of the learning process. The important thing is to approach each moment with curiosity and compassion, and to continue practicing even when it feels a little challenging. For more support, please reach out and book an appointment with one of our friendly psychologists
Liz Greig. Provisional Psychologist  Do you really know what self-care is? Self-Care can mean so many different things to so many different people. Here are 4 common misconceptions about self-care: 1. Self-care is selfish One of the most common misconceptions about self-care is that it is selfish. In reality, taking care of yourself is essential for your physical, mental, and emotional well-being, and it can actually help you be more productive and better able to care for others. Self-care involves making sure your basic needs are met, such as getting enough sleep, eating good food, and engaging in physical activity. It also includes taking care of your mental and emotional health, such as practicing relaxation techniques, setting boundaries, and seeking professional help when needed. Prioritizing your own well-being through self-care is not only beneficial for yourself, but it can also have a positive impact on those around you. Practicing self-care is an act of self-respect, not selfishness. 2. Self-care is all about pampering Many people believe that self-care is all about indulging in luxurious activities like spa treatments, shopping sprees, or fancy meals. While these things can be part of self-care, they are not the only way to take care of yourself. Self-care looks different for everybody, and can include things like sleeping, eating foods you enjoy, physical activity, reading a book or cuddling with a pet. 3. Self-care is only for people who have time and money Another common misconception about self-care is that it is only for people who have the time and money to indulge in it. In reality, self-care can be as simple as taking a few minutes to meditate or stretch, going for a walk, or taking a relaxing bath. Self-care is about prioritizing your well-being and finding ways to take care of yourself, no matter your circumstances. 4. Self-care is a one-time thing Some people believe that self-care is something you only need to do when you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed. In reality, self-care should be a regular practice that you incorporate into your daily routine. Taking care of yourself on a regular basis can help prevent burnout and improve your overall quality of life. Prioritizing your own well-being through self-care is an ongoing process that requires regular attention and effort. Book an appointment with one of our psychologists for more support around implementing your own self care plan
Ceren Celebi. Provisional Psychologist  While some level of anxiety is normal in children, excessive anxiety can interfere with a child’s daily activities or quality of life. There are several apps available that can help children manage their anxiety. It can provide children with tools and strategies to help them identify, challenge, and reframe negative thoughts, as well as develop emotional intelligence and mindfulness. Here are 5 helpful apps to help support an anxious child: 1. Headspace for Kids: Headspace is a popular mindfulness app that offers a special section for kids. This app provides a range of guided meditations, breathing exercises, and visualizations that are designed to help children manage their anxiety and stress. 2. Stop, Breathe & Think Kids: This app uses fun and engaging activities to help children develop emotional intelligence and mindfulness. It includes a range of guided meditations, breathing exercises, and mindful activities that can help children manage anxiety and improve their overall well-being. 3. Worry Box: Worry Box is a cognitive-behavioural therapy app designed to help children cope with worry and anxiety. The app offers a range of tools and strategies to help children identify, challenge, and reframe negative thoughts. 4. Smiling Mind: Smiling Mind is a mindfulness app designed specifically for children and adolescents. The app offers guided meditations and mindfulness exercises that are tailored to the age and developmental stage of the user. 5. Calm. This app is a popular meditation and relaxation app that offers a range of guided meditations and breathing exercises that can help children manage anxiety and stress. The app also offers sleep stories and other relaxation techniques that can help children calm down and relax before bed. It is important to note that while these apps can be helpful, they should not be used as a replacement for professional help. If a child’s anxiety is severe or interferes with daily activities, it is important to seek professional support from a mental health professional.
Jacob Spinks. Provisional Psychologist  Playing junior sport at an elite level can bring about feelings of performance anxiety, stress and nervousness. The journey can be challenging and sometimes overwhelming, and although it's normal to feel anxious and nervous before a big game, children do not have to experience these feelings alone. Excessive anxiety can hinder your performance and affect your overall quality of life. One of the most important things to remember is that you're not alone in this journey. Many athletes face similar challenges and feelings. Here are some ways to manage these feelings in the lead up to a big game: Practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualisation. These techniques can help you reduce anxiety levels and feel more calm and focused before a big game. Challenging negative thoughts is another helpful strategy to improve mental well-being. Negative thoughts can fuel anxiety and self-doubt, which can hinder your performance. Learning to challenge these thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations can help you feel more confident and focused. Seeking support from a trusted friend, coach, or psychologist can also make a significant difference in managing anxiety. These individuals can provide you with strategies and techniques to help manage your symptoms and provide you with the support you need. Building resilience is another important strategy to cope with the challenges that playing sport can bring. Resilience involves developing the skills and mindset to overcome setbacks and challenges. This can help you cope with the ups and downs of elite sports and reduce your anxiety levels. Lastly, taking care of your physical health can also help reduce anxiety. Eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and engaging in regular physical activity can help you maintain a healthy balance and feel your best. Remember, it's not just about achieving your goals, but also enjoying the journey. If you're struggling with anxiety, please don't hesitate to reach out for help.
Abby Elder. Provisional Psychologist  Picture this... An eruption of screaming and fighting pierces your ears. Again. Your eight year old son rushes into the lounge room sobbing and throws himself on the couch next to you. Another fight with his older sister over who gets to choose what game to play together. ‘You are supposed to be having fun and building lifelong memories to be treasured forever!’ You think to yourself. When did having fun become so hard? If your child sometimes appears to be made of glass, try these 9 ways to build resilience, or the ability to recover from the inevitable disappointments and challenges of life. 1.Growth mindset Encourage a practice of gratitude and excitement by asking your child to identify one thing they are looking forward to the next day. 2. Define resilience in age appropriate ways Look for examples in nature like a tree that has continued to grow despite a concrete barrier. Or name some models of a can do attitude in literature or film. 3. Practise the calm How do you feel when you are told to just calm down? Most adults know the bubbling rage that this phrase can instill yet we continue to use this command when a child is overwhelmed. Instead try practicing the calm with your child every day, like taking a vitamin supplement. This can be a three minute body scan that encourages your child to be more aware of body sensations that are signals they need help. Or try green grounding, which encourages a short connection to nature. Think setting a five minute timer on your phone and going cloud gazing. The key to practicing the calm is scheduling it every day at a time when it is achievable. 4. Check your own reactions and expectations Emotions are catching. Children can perceive when we have unrealistic expectations that we are placing on them. Such as, my child should be invited to every birthday party thrown by every classmate. Or, I am a terrible parent because my child is struggling to comprehend long division. Try practising some short, self compassion meditations that will build your own resilience. 5. Encourage problem solving, don’t solve the problem Resiliency is not a force field that repels life’s problems. It’s the confidence that no matter what problem we are faced with there are solutions. Problem solving just like any skill needs to be learned. Parents often want to swoop in and solve their child’s problems, however this is taking away the opportunity from your child to learn how to solve their own problems. 6. Skill building missions Plan for ways your child can prove to herself she is a problem solver. Let her pay for the produce next time you duck into the shops. Bite your tongue when your five year old picks an outfit that slightly clashes, at least they are dressed! Encourage your 11 year old to create a menu of family dinners. 7. Call out your own fragile behaviour, but don’t shame it Name when you are feeling a bit fragile, and role model problem solving through the uncomfortable feelings to your child. 8. Acknowledge the good when it happens We are good at identifying the tough times but we often do not pause and say how great things are going. By acknowledging the good we remind our children that nothing is permanent, the bad times come, and then so do the good times. 9. Encourage accountability Resiliency is about doing what we can with what we have. Encourage your child to name what is in their control the next time they are having a tough time. This will make the path to solutions more clear. For support for you or your child/ren, learn more about our online parenting program
Kara Vermaak. Provisional Psychologist  We all have thoughts, that’s part of what makes us human. Sometimes these thoughts are pleasant and helpful, but sometimes they’re unhelpful and unpleasant. Our natural response may be to want to get rid of those unhelpful thoughts as soon as we can. Why would we choose to feel pain and discomfort? Unfortunately, trying to control these thoughts often has the opposite effect. They just keep coming back. Imagine you’re throwing a party. Everyone is having a great time, but there’s this one unwelcome, uninvited and somewhat obnoxious person who shows up at your house. You’ve decided to take charge, and show them out the door. But despite your best efforts to get rid of them, they keep finding a way back into your house. You become increasingly agitated as you see them annoying your guests, but they just won’t stay away. You soon realise that trying to get rid of them is futile. So what could you do instead? 1. Recognize the guest: Just like you would recognize the unwelcome party guest, recognise the unhelpful thought without judgment. Acknowledge that it's there and that it's causing you discomfort or distress. 2. Accept the guest's presence: Rather than trying to force the guest out, accept that they're there for now. Recognize that, just like the guest at the party, the unhelpful thought may stick around for a while, even if you don't want it to. 3. Observe the guest without judgment: Instead of getting caught up in the guest's behaviour, observe them without judgement. Notice what they're doing and saying, but focus on what you’re doing instead. 4. Let the guest be: Just like you might let the unwelcome party guest be, let the unhelpful thought be. Don't try to change it or control it, just observe it and let it exist without getting caught up in it. Eventually, you find that you’re so busy having fun, that you’ve forgotten all about the unwelcome guest, and your friends don’t seem too bothered by them either. After a while, they get bored, say goodbye and leave. Remember that just like an unwelcome party guest, unhelpful thoughts may arrive uninvited and unwanted, but they don’t have to define your experience. By accepting their existence and letting them be, they eventually pass by as just another thought. Book an appointment with Kara or one of our friendly psychologists
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