Social Media, Selfies and Self-Esteem: 4 questions to ask your teen and helpful messages to discuss13/5/2024
 How can you support your teen’s development in the age of social media? Self-esteem development during adolescence is an important area of focus for psychology. Self-esteem refers to the judgements young people make about their worth as a person and is closely associated with mental well-being. The way that we are communicating with peers has changed dramatically over the past decade with the growth of social media platforms such as Facebook and Instagram. Although social media has made communication and keeping up with peers easier, it has brought about an added pressure to adolescent’s self-esteem development. It has never been easier to compare yourself to peers than it is right now. On social media, your life is on show and young people are able to create a beautiful ‘highlights reel’ which is often unrealistic and highly filtered. This in turn feeds comparison to unachievable standards and can leave you feeling not good enough. Here are some conversation starters to have with your adolescents as well as some helpful messages that we need to be sending about social media. Sit down with your adolescent and ask them: “What does it feel like when your post doesn’t get many likes?” Helpful messages to discuss:
Look at Instafamous celebrities’ profiles with your child and ask, “What do you think about this person’s profile? What does their life look like to you?” Helpful messages to discuss:
“How do you feel when you compare your number of ‘friends’ to other people’s number of ‘friends’?”
"What inspires you on your social media feeds?"
Helping your teens to think about their motivations behind posting up that hundredth sexy selfie will help them (and you) to think about healthier ways of getting validation and building self-esteem. It’s probably not going to drastically change their posting behaviour, but it might help them to see their online behaviour through a new lens. Through having this conversation, you might be able to come up with ideas about other ways to feel confident – such as learning about their strengths and building on them. This is how positive self-esteem is developed. It might even help you to reflect on whether your child has enough opportunities to experience success and develop their strengths. If not, think about how you can facilitate this by increasing their opportunities in the ‘offline’ world. Remember, social media is a big part of your teens life so understanding more about it will help you to show your interest in your child’s life bringing you closer together which is so important for your relationship. If you have concerns about negative impacts that social media is having on your child’s self-esteem and you are unsure how to tackle this, speak with a psychologist skilled in this area.  Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence based approach that is very commonly used at our practice. The core principles of ACT are:
The “Passengers on the Bus” metaphor, and it’s variations, is a popular and effective way to gain new perspective on the impacts of “giving in” to your unhelpful thoughts and discomfort. This video is a play on the metaphor and describes your life journey as a plane ride. Let’s refer to your unhelpful thoughts and difficult feelings as “bossy passengers” on your plane.
If the passengers on your life plane were saying awful things about you and making you doubt yourself how would you feel? Would it be fair to stop the plane to argue with these passengers? What might you miss out on if you “give in” to the bossy passengers and let them fly your plane? What might happen instead if you made space for these unpleasant passengers and continued guiding your plane in the direction you wanted to take? With support from our clinicians, you can start to identify some of these “bossy passengers” and unwanted thoughts and feelings, and learn how to make space for them.  What is self-esteem?
A healthy level of self-esteem is important because it allows you to live life to your potential. Low self-esteem and poor confidence is often associated with negative thoughts about yourself, which can mean that you are likely to give up easily rather than face challenges. High Self-esteem is the satisfaction and confidence you have in yourself as a person. Low Self-esteem is the low opinion you have of yourself, the doubt, blaming behaviour and negative view of yourself. People react to your beliefs and behaviour - if you're positive about yourself then you'll get positive feedback, reinforcing your perception of your original belief. People with negative self esteem often find it hard to accept compliments, and they may see themselves as being worthless, ugly or incompetent. When trying to make friends or approach new people, those with low self-esteem may not feel worthy enough of being someone’s friend or partner. People who avoid or put off talking to new people will often find it very difficult to make friends. People with low self-esteem might also believe that they don’t deserve to be happy. Fortunately, we can change our beliefs about ourselves! Book in with one of our friendly psychologists for support in improving your self-esteem  How can you support your teen’s development in the age of social media?
Fostering a healthy sense of self is crucial in the work we do to support adolescents. Self-esteem refers to the judgements young people make about their worth as a person, and is closely associated with mental well-being. The way that we are communicating with peers has changed dramatically over the past decade with the growth of social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram and TikTok. Although social media has made communication and keeping up with peers easier, it has brought about an added pressure to adolescent’s self-esteem development. It has never been easier to compare yourself to peers than it is right now. On social media, your life is on show and young people are able to create a beautiful ‘highlights reel’ which is often unrealistic and highly filtered. This in turn feeds comparison to unachievable standards and can leave you feeling like you are not good enough. Here are some conversation starters to have with your adolescents, as well as some helpful messages that we need to be sending about social media. Sit down with your adolescent and ask them: “What does it feel like when your post doesn’t get many likes?” Helpful messages to discuss:
Look at Instafamous celebrity profiles with your child and ask, “What do you think about this person’s profile? What does their life look like to you?” Helpful messages to discuss:
“How do you feel when you compare your number of ‘friends’ to other people’s number of ‘friends’?”
"What inspires you on your social media feeds?"
Helping your teens to think about their motivations behind posting up that highly filtered selfie will help them (and you) to think about healthier ways of getting validation and building self-esteem. It’s probably not going to drastically change their posting behaviour, but it might help them to see their online behaviour through a new lens. Through having this conversation, you might be able to come up with ideas about other ways to feel confident – such as learning about their strengths and building on them. This is how positive self-esteem is developed. It might even help you to reflect on whether your child has enough opportunities to experience success and develop their strengths. If not, think about how you can facilitate this by increasing their opportunities in the ‘offline’ world. Remember, social media is a big part of your teens life, so understanding more about it will help you to show your interest in your child’s life bringing you closer together which is so important for your relationship. If you have concerns about negative impacts that social media is having on your child’s self-esteem and you are unsure how to tackle this, please contact our clinic to book an appointment for you or your child. |
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Hopscotch & HarmonyAt Hopscotch & Harmony Psychology, you can expect compassionate care and evidence-based guidance on your journey to wellness.
With clinics in Werribee and Belmont, as well as providing online counselling to clients who live throughout Australia, our dedicated team of psychologists and dietitians are committed to providing support to children, teenagers and adults. With a focus on understanding your unique needs, we offer tailored solutions to foster growth and resilience. Trust in our experience and dedication as we work together towards your well-being. Welcome to a place where healing begins and possibilities abound. |
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