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Alyce Galea, Psychologist  Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify, use, understand and manage emotions in a positive way to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathise with others, overcome challenges and diffuse conflict.
Emotional intelligence impacts many different aspects of your daily life, such as the way you behave and the way you interact with others. If you have a high emotional intelligence you are able to recognise your own emotional state and the emotional states of others and engage with people in a way that draws them to you. You can use this understanding of emotions to relate better to other people, form healthier relationships, achieve greater success at school, and lead a more fulfilling life. Emotional intelligence consists of four attributes:
Book an appointment with one of our psychologists to learn ways to improve yours or your child's emotional intelligence  It’s almost inevitable to have an argument or disagreement with a friend or partner.
Here are some tips for healthy conflict resolution:
Book in with one of our psychologists for further support Alyce Galea, Psychologist  Urge surfing is a helpful technique when your way of dealing with stress and overwhelm is particularly unhelpful, unhealthy or harmful.
For example, if your automatic response to feeling overwhelmed is to over eat, use substances or self harm, then this technique is an important one to learn and practice. The goal of this technique is to delay acting on the urge, until the feeling of the urge goes away. One way to think about an urge is like the urge being a wave and you being a surfer. A surfer doesn’t fight against the wave or run away from the wave, instead, they ride the wave until they reach the shore. Urge surfing is about riding the emotional wave. Not fighting with the need to resist the urge, and not giving into the urge. Simply noticing the urge and letting it run its course. Mastering this technique will take some time, patience and practice. But once you are able to get the hang of it, you’ll be better able to regulate your emotions in a helpful and healthy way. The easiest way to practice urge surfing is to set timed intervals between when you first notice the urge, and when you allow yourself to act on the urge, and then do something during that time to distract yourself and keep you busy. Things you could do to distract yourself could be to:
The more you practice this skill, the easier it will be for you to ride out the urge wave and not let the urge dominate your thoughts. If you are struggling with managing unhelpful thoughts or urges, please book an appointment with one of our psychologists Alyce Galea, Psychologist  Emotions such as fear, anger, grief and many others can negatively affect us long after the original event that caused them.
When our body fails to “let go” of these emotions we can find ourselves with unexplained hatred, self-sabotaging behaviours, destructive beliefs, phobias and many chronic physical problems. Why Do People Bottle Up Their Emotions?
What Happens When You Pent Up Your Emotions
Ways to release bottled up emotions
Book an appointment with one of our friendly psychologists for more support Alyce Galea, Psychologist  What is self-esteem?
A healthy level of self-esteem is important because it allows you to live life to your potential. Low self-esteem and poor confidence is often associated with negative thoughts about yourself, which can mean that you are likely to give up easily rather than face challenges. High Self-esteem is the satisfaction and confidence you have in yourself as a person. Low Self-esteem is the low opinion you have of yourself, the doubt, blaming behaviour and negative view of yourself. People react to your beliefs and behaviour - if you're positive about yourself then you'll get positive feedback, reinforcing your perception of your original belief. People with negative self esteem often find it hard to accept compliments, and they may see themselves as being worthless, ugly or incompetent. When trying to make friends or approach new people, those with low self-esteem may not feel worthy enough of being someone’s friend or partner. People who avoid or put off talking to new people will often find it very difficult to make friends. People with low self-esteem might also believe that they don’t deserve to be happy. Fortunately, we can change our beliefs about ourselves! Book in with one of our friendly psychologists for support in improving your self-esteem Alyce Galea, Psychologist  It is essential that our young people learn how to manage the intensity of their emotions, and work through their emotions in a healthy and helpful way.
It is not something that that we are inherently born knowing how to do, so it is important that parents and/or caregivers help facilitate a safe space for children to learn emotion regulation. Here are 5 important tips to help you help your children: 1. Be warm, accepting and responsive to your child’s emotional needs
3. Accept, support and show empathy to validate their feelings
4. Be patient
5. Try not to ignore, dismiss, discourage, punish or react negatively to emotions, especially negative emotion
By being in touch with your own emotions and being mindful of how you manage them, you can be a role model for your children and help them feel safe to express their own emotions in a healthy and helpful way. For more parenting support or for support for your child, please contact the clinic to book an appointment. Alyce Galea, Psychologist  It is most likely the time that most students dread...Exam time!
Although for some people, stress can motivate them to be more organised and devote more time to study, for others, prolonged stress can be counterproductive and debilitating. For a lot of students, exam time can be a daunting and stressful period, but it doesn’t have to be! Here are some tips that might help you to manage stress around exam time... 1. Think about why you are stressed:
2. Take time to plan:
3. Make self care a priority
4. Rest
5. Set good boundaries
Above all, remember that this period of stress is only temporary! If you continue to feel stress or anxious after the exams, it might be helpful to speak to someone (a teacher, family member, friend, psychologist) about what you can do to manage these feelings next exam period. Book an appointment with one of our psychologists for more support with school issues and exam stress Alyce Galea. Psychologist  Talking with a highly emotional teenager can be tough! When our emotions are heightened, our ability to access and use the thinking part of our brain can become really difficult, and it can be almost impossible for us to use rational thought.
Here are some tips on how best to communicate with your teen when they are in an emotional state: 1. Remain calm and check in with yourself. There is very little benefit to trying to communicate with your teen when they are in a heightened state, and the same goes for when you are experiencing big emotions.The most helpful thing you can do in this situation is to check in with yourself and try to remain calm as best you can. If your teens can sense your calm, they are more likely to calm themselves and be in a better position to effectively communicate with you. There is a scientific principle called neuroception that helps us understand this - when we are in the presence of a calm person, our brain picks up on those calming signals and our brain understands that we are safe. Being safe leads to feelings of calm. 2. Be present. Although your teen may not want to have a conversation with you, it’s important that they know that you are there for them and available to talk when they are ready. That gesture alone might be enough for them to trust that you are open and willing to hear them out. 3. Take a strengths based, non judgemental approach. Although you might not agree with how your teens behave, or how they should feel in a response to a certain situation, it’s helpful to provide a safe, non judgemental space for them to vent and talk it out. 4. Offer to listen and comfort, rather than “fix” things. Your job is not to fix things, per se, but to coach your children, offer the support they need and encourage them to practice skills of emotion regulation and problem solving, until they find what works for them. The way we problem solve and deal with our emotions, may not be particularly helpful for our teens. It’s important to remember that when we come to the solution for a problem ourselves, often with support from another person, we’re more likely to be able to make sense of the problem solutions and put them into practice - rather than when somebody imposes their solutions on us. 5. Expect rejection and avoid feeling disheartened. Adjust your expectations about how the conversations might go, so that you can avoid feeling disheartened or taking things personally. Your teen might test you a little until they can trust that you genuinely care and want to help them. It may take some time and persistence to reconnect with your teen, don’t be put off. If you’re willing to make the changes to better communicate with them, they will come through. I hope this has given you some helpful tips to be able to alter the way you communicate with your teens to build a stronger connection with them. Contact the clinic if you are in need of parenting support or support for your teen Alyce Galea. Psychologist  The way we communicate with others tends to fall into one of four styles: Passive, Aggressive, Passive Aggressive and Assertive. We may often adopt the one communication style in all interactions, or we communicate with different styles depending on who we are speaking with.
Let's look at the main traits of each communication style... Passive: Passive communicators have a tendency to avoid expressing their feelings or opinions, and shy away from standing up for themselves and their rights. This is often due to a fear of conflict, low confidence or anxiety about how people will respond to them. Because they don’t feel comfortable expressing themselves, they will often harbour resentment and let emotions buildup until they reach breaking point. Following an emotional outburst, they may feel shame and guilt, and return to being passive again. Aggressive: Aggressive communicators sit at the other end of the spectrum. They are very confident in expressing themselves and getting what they want, regardless of how their actions affect others. They often issue commands, are bad listeners and often lack empathy for the feelings of others. Passive Aggressive: Passive Aggressive communicators appear passive on the surface, but often express subtle or indirect aggressions. They are often aware of their needs and emotional experiences, but struggle to express them in a helpful way. Instead of openly communicating what they need or how they feel, they may instead express their grievances or annoyances through giving someone the silent treatment, spreading rumours, or making sarcastic or unhelpful remarks. These communicators often feel powerless, stuck and resentful because they are unable to effectively express themselves. Assertive: Assertive communicators are able to express their needs and feelings in a healthy and helpful way. They are empathetic and aware of how their actions may impact on someone, and are able to negotiate ways of having their needs met, without being overbearing, rude or hurting others. Assertive communicators understand that they may not get what they want all of the time, but are willing to compromise if it means having some of their needs met. When communication breaks down, it’s often because the ways we communicate and the habits we’ve formed often get in the way. We might have good intentions and an idea of how we would like to express ourselves going into a conversation with our teens, but as emotions heighten and we find ourselves feeling frustrated or impatient, what we want to say and how we want to say it might come out wrong or get misunderstood, leading to further breakdowns in our communication with them. The good news is that with practice, we can improve the way we relate and communicate with others! For more personalised support around communication and relationships in your life, please book in with one of our friendly psychologists. |
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Hopscotch & HarmonyAt Hopscotch & Harmony Psychology, you can expect compassionate care and evidence-based guidance on your journey to wellness.
With clinics in Werribee and Belmont, as well as providing online counselling to clients who live throughout Australia, our dedicated team of psychologists and dietitians are committed to providing support to children, teenagers and adults. With a focus on understanding your unique needs, we offer tailored solutions to foster growth and resilience. Trust in our experience and dedication as we work together towards your well-being. Welcome to a place where healing begins and possibilities abound. |
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Child, Teen and Adult Psychology Our Locations:
WERRIBEE: 1/167-179 Shaws Rd
BELMONT: 92 Roslyn Rd AUSTRALIA-WIDE: Online counselling 
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We acknowledge the Bunurong and Wadawurrung people of the Kulin Nation, the traditional owners of the land on which we work, and pay our respects to their Elders, past, present and emerging.
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