Alyce Galea, Psychologist

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify, use, understand and manage emotions in a positive way to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathise with others, overcome challenges and diffuse conflict. 

Emotional intelligence impacts many different aspects of your daily life, such as the way you behave and the way you interact with others. 

If you have a high emotional intelligence you are able to recognise your own emotional state and the emotional states of others and engage with people in a way that draws them to you.  

You can use this understanding of emotions to relate better to other people, form healthier relationships, achieve greater success at school, and lead a more fulfilling life.  ​

Emotional intelligence consists of four attributes:  

• Self-awareness – You recognise your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behaviour, know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.  

• Self-management – You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviours, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.  
• Social awareness – You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group.  
• Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict. 

 
Book an appointment with one of our psychologists to learn ways to improve yours or your child's emotional intelligence

Alyce Galea, Psychologist

Emotions such as fear, anger, grief and many others can negatively affect us long after the original event that caused them.

When our body fails to “let go” of these emotions we can find ourselves with unexplained hatred, self-sabotaging behaviours, destructive beliefs, phobias and many chronic physical problems. 

Why Do People Bottle Up Their Emotions? 

• They are unable to fight back in an argument situation  
• ​They think that if they show their emotions it is a sign of weakness. 
• They believe it is not normal to be feeling a certain way, so try to conceal their emotions from others. 
• ​They are afraid of what other people might think. 
• They feel that they have to deal with their emotions or problems on their own because "no one else will understand". 
• ​They feel they have to be "the rock" for others. 

What Happens When You Pent Up Your Emotions 

• You can become crabby to be around & start snapping at other people for no reason. 
• ​You get to a stage where you have bottled up your emotions to the point you "explode" - often the victims are loved ones, friends.  
• You start feeling low and numb and don't know how to get out of the situation. 
• ​You can start to feel physically unwell  

 
Ways to release bottled up emotions 

• Write: keeping a diary is a great tool to “vent” and put all your feelings onto paper 
• Music: write a song or simply listen to music that helps calm you

• Talk to someone: open up to a friend, relative, teacher that you trust 
• Get active: find a sport or activity that you can do to release tension. 
• Cry: Don’t be afraid to cry once in a while. It’s a healthy ritual! 

​Book an appointment with one of our friendly psychologists for more support​

Alyce Galea, Psychologist

It is essential that our young people learn how to manage the intensity of their emotions, and work through their emotions in a healthy and helpful way. 
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It is not something that that we are inherently born knowing how to do, so it is important that parents and/or caregivers help facilitate a safe space for children to learn emotion regulation.

Here are 5 important tips to help you help your children:

1. Be warm, accepting and responsive to your child’s emotional needs

• It’s important that you allow space for your child to experience their emotions in a safe, empathetic and non-judgemental space. Being emotionally available for your child is the first step.
  
  

2. Talk about emotions and be a role model

• Talking about your emotional experiences with your child and modeling healthy ways of managing your emotions is vital. Kids won’t often do what you say, but they will likely follow your lead and take cues from how you react to your emotions and stressors. 

3. Accept, support and show empathy to validate their feelings

• Normalise your child's emotional experience to teach them they all emotions are safe and valid, and create an environment in which they feel safe to express those emotions. ​

4. Be patient

• Being patient and calm when your child expresses their emotions helps you remain connected. They will sense if you are becoming distressed or agitated, which will likely lead them to become more heightened. ​​

5. Try not to ignore, dismiss, discourage, punish or react negatively to emotions, especially negative emotion

• Your goal is to teach your child to not suppress their emotions, whilst also not letting them become overwhelmed by their emotions. 

By being in touch with your own emotions and being mindful of how you manage them, you can be a role model for your children and help them feel safe to express their own emotions in a healthy and helpful way.

For more parenting support or for support for your child, please contact the clinic to book an appointment.

Did you know that the average person can have up to 60,000 thoughts in one day?!

Even without being fully aware of what we’re thinking, our brain is often going a million miles per hour.

And a lot of what we think is negative, and the same worries that we had yesterday.

This makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, because our ancestors needed to constantly be scanning their environments for threats and pre-empting any potential dangers.

Helpful when being attacked by a sabre toothed tiger was a legitimate concern, but not so much in our day to day lives!

Here are some quick tips if you find yourself worrying a lot...

- try to catch yourself when you’re having a negative thought

- ask yourself “Is this thought true and helpful?” and “What might happen if I choose to ignore this thought?”
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If you experience worry or anxiety and would like support, please contact the clinic to book an appointment with one of our psychologists

Do you know the phrase “Making a mountain out of a molehill”?

This can be all too familiar for people who experience anxiety

One fleeting thought can trigger a spiral of related thoughts and worries

And almost immediately what might have seemed like only a minor worry has become an overwhelming thought

When you notice yourself spiralling, it can help to stop and question the thought

You might want to ask yourself whether the thought is a fact, and try to find evidence to support or debunk your worry
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You’ll likely find that the thought is just that...a thought!

If you are wanting support to manage worry or anxiety, please book an appointment with one of our friendly psychologists

I recall reading this quote in an article about the importance of dealing with your emotions, and it really resonated with me

“When you’re busy trying to numb your emotions, your emotions are in the next room doing push ups”

Unfortunately, uncomfortable emotions such as sadness or anger don’t magically disappear when we don’t want to feel them

The longer we try to push away unwanted emotions, the stronger they might become

So instead, we need to learn how to lean into the emotions, and to “feel all of the feels”

We shouldn’t fear our emotions.

They are all part of the human experience!

Book an appointment with one of our friendly psychologists if you're wanting support to learn how to manage your emotions

For some people who experience symptoms of anxiety, it can feel like an all consuming tug of war with their own internal monster.

The monster, in this instance, represents your...

- anxious thoughts

- your concerns

- your “worst case scenarios”

How physically and mentally exhausting must it be to constantly be fighting against your own thoughts?

But what might happen if you drop the rope?

Imagine how freeing that would feel!

When you notice yourself fighting with your thoughts, acknowledge that you’re in a battle of tug of war, and choose to let go of the rope.

If you are needing support to manage your anxious thoughts, please contact our clinic to book in an appointment

Tim Walker. Mental Health Clinician