Many children go through a stage of refusing certain foods. They may dislike vegetables, insist on eating the same breakfast every day, or suddenly reject foods they previously enjoyed.

In most cases, this is a normal part of development.

But when food preferences become highly restrictive, persist over time, or begin affecting a child's health, growth, or daily life, parents often find themselves asking an important question:

Is this typical picky eating, a sensory difference, or something more?

The answer matters because different eating challenges require different types of support.

Picky Eating: A Common Developmental Phase
Selective eating is particularly common during the preschool years.

As children develop independence and become more cautious about unfamiliar foods, it's normal for them to have strong opinions about what they will and won't eat.

Children experiencing typical picky eating generally:

• Eat foods from multiple food groups
• Maintain appropriate growth and energy levels
• Tolerate some variation in their diet
• Show curiosity about food, even if they're hesitant to try it

While frustrating at times, picky eating often improves gradually with gentle exposure, family modelling, and low-pressure mealtimes.

When Eating Differences Are Sensory-Based
For many neurodivergent children, particularly autistic children and some children with ADHD, food preferences are often linked to sensory processing rather than simple likes and dislikes.
Food involves far more than taste.

Every meal includes textures, smells, temperatures, colours, sounds, and visual expectations. For a child with sensory sensitivities, these experiences can be intense, unpredictable, or overwhelming.

A child may avoid foods because:

• The texture feels unpleasant or unpredictable
• The smell is overwhelming
• The temperature feels wrong
• Foods touching each other causes discomfort
• Certain colours or appearances feel unappealing
• The sensory experience changes from one bite to the next

From the outside, these preferences can appear rigid or inflexible. In reality, many children are trying to manage genuine sensory discomfort.

Safe foods often provide predictability and reduce stress.

This is why pressure, bribery, or removing preferred foods can sometimes increase anxiety and make eating challenges worse.

The Role of Interoception
Another important piece of the puzzle is interoception. Interoception refers to our ability to notice and interpret signals from inside our body, such as hunger, fullness, thirst, temperature, pain, or discomfort. For many neurodivergent individuals, interoceptive awareness can be different.

Some children may:

• Struggle to recognise hunger cues
• Miss signals that they are becoming full
• Feel internal sensations more intensely than others
• Experience discomfort after eating that feels difficult to interpret

When interoceptive differences occur alongside sensory sensitivities, eating can become even more complicated. For example, a child who experiences fullness as physically uncomfortable may begin avoiding food. Another child may not recognise hunger until they are extremely hungry, making eating patterns appear inconsistent or unusual.

Understanding interoception can help adults move away from assumptions about stubbornness or defiance and towards a more accurate understanding of what a child may be experiencing.

When Restrictive Eating May Be Something More
Sometimes food avoidance extends beyond sensory preferences and begins affecting a child's physical health, emotional wellbeing, or quality of life.

This may indicate the presence of an eating disorder.

One condition that is particularly relevant when discussing neurodivergence is Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID).

Unlike eating disorders such as Anorexia Nervosa, ARFID is not driven by concerns about body shape or weight.

Instead, food restriction may be related to:

• Sensory sensitivities
• Fear of choking
• Fear of vomiting
• Anxiety about physical sensations
• Low interest in eating or food

Over time, this can lead to nutritional deficiencies, weight loss, poor growth, or significant interference with daily life.

Signs That Additional Support May Be Needed
Consider seeking professional advice if you notice:

• Noticeable weight loss or poor growth
• Nutritional deficiencies
• Increasing restriction of foods over time
• Significant anxiety around eating
• Fear of choking, vomiting, or becoming unwell
• Avoidance of social situations involving food
• Distress when preferred foods are unavailable
• Low mood, withdrawal, or increased anxiety related to eating

It's important to remember that eating disorders do not always look the same in neurodivergent individuals. For some, the driving force may be predictability, anxiety reduction, sensory comfort, or a need for control rather than concerns about appearance.

Curiosity is often far more helpful than assumptions.

Supporting a Healthy Relationship with Food
If you're supporting a child with restrictive eating, one of the most valuable things you can do is seek to understand their experience. Instead of focusing solely on what they are eating, try becoming curious about why eating feels difficult.

Helpful approaches include:

• Keeping mealtimes predictable and low pressure
• Offering choices rather than ultimatums
• Introducing new foods alongside familiar foods
• Celebrating small steps rather than expecting immediate change
• Respecting sensory experiences
• Seeking professional support when nutritional, emotional, or developmental concerns arise

Food challenges are rarely about stubbornness or defiance. More often, they reflect a nervous system trying to manage discomfort, uncertainty, or overwhelm.

Understanding the reasons behind restrictive eating helps us respond with empathy rather than frustration. When children feel safe, understood, and supported, they are far more likely to develop confidence, flexibility, and a healthier relationship with food over time.

When Support May Be Helpful
If your child's eating difficulties are affecting their growth, nutrition, emotional wellbeing, or participation in everyday life, professional support may help.

A collaborative approach involving psychologists, occupational therapists, dietitians, and medical professionals can help identify the factors contributing to restrictive eating and develop strategies tailored to your child's needs.

At Hopscotch & Harmony, we support children and families experiencing challenges related to anxiety, neurodivergence, emotional wellbeing, and eating concerns. Appointments are available in
Belmont, Werribee and via Telehealth. To learn more or request an appointment, visit www.hopscotchandharmony.com.au/booknow

Eating disorders are a serious mental illness that affect many individuals of all ages, but they are especially prevalent and dangerous among teenagers. Research shows that 75% of people diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa and 83% of people diagnosed with Bulimia Nervosa are between 12 and 25 years of age.* The outcomes of an eating disorder can cause serious harm. 

There are several types of eating disorders, but some of the most common are anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder.

Below is a brief overview of each disorder and some common warning signs:

• Anorexia nervosa: This is an eating disorder characterised by an intense fear of gaining weight, a distorted body image, and severely restricted food intake. Some common warning signs of anorexia nervosa include:
  • Rapid weight loss or being underweight
  • Obsessive calorie counting or food weighing
  • Refusal to eat certain foods or food groups
  • Excessive exercising
  • Preoccupation with body weight and shape
  • Social withdrawal and isolation
  • Low self-esteem

 

• Bulimia nervosa: This eating disorder is characterised by recurrent episodes of binge eating (consuming a large amount of food in a short period of time) followed by compensatory behaviors such as self-induced vomiting, laxative abuse, or excessive exercise. Some common warning signs of bulimia nervosa include:
  • Fluctuations in weight
  • Evidence of binge eating, such as large amounts of food missing
  • Evidence of purging behaviours, such as frequent trips to the bathroom after meals
  • Use of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas
  • Preoccupation with body weight and shape
  • Dental problems (from frequent vomiting)
  • Sore throat or swollen glands

 

• Binge eating disorder: This eating disorder is characterised by recurrent episodes of binge eating without compensatory behaviours. Some common warning signs of binge eating disorder include:
  • Eating rapidly during binge episodes
  • Eating until uncomfortably full or even in pain
  • Feeling a lack of control over eating during binge episodes
  • Eating alone or in secret due to shame or embarrassment
  • Feelings of guilt, shame, or disgust after binge episodes
  • Depression or anxiety

*Volpe, U., Tortorella, A., Manchia, M., Monteleone, A.M., Albert, U., & Monteleone, P. (2016). Eating disorders: What age at onset? Psychiatry Research. April. 225-227. 

If you or your child are struggling with any of these warning signs, you might be feeling worried and unsure of what to do. Remember that you are not alone and there is support to guide you through this tricky time.

Visit your GP to start your journey to eating disorder management and recovery, and then book an appointment with one of our psychologists or dietitians for therapy.