4 ways to help a resistant teen to attend therapy

Jessica Cleary. Director & Psychologist

Sometimes it is challenging getting teens the psychological help they need.

Here are some tips to help you...

• Frame it differently
  • Unfortunately there can be a stigma about seeing a mental health practitioner. The truth is we work with many individuals who don’t have an official diagnosis but just want to improve their lives. Reframe it in a way that likens a psychologist to a coach who helps an athlete perform their best. 

• Focus on the teen’s priorities
  • A teen who is depressed may not see that they can feel better. Their condition may make it difficult for them to think clearly about what they might need. They may not even acknowledge that they need help. 
  • To get buy-in, focus on the teen’s priorities.  Try asking, “What kind of things would you like to improve?” (such as making friends or feeling less worried). Use this information to outline how the things the teen is looking for can be achieved by working with someone who really understands how to help with these issues. 

• Find the right Psychologist
  • It’s really important to find a psychologist who is a good match for your teen’s personality. It needs to be someone they like and respect or it isn’t a good fit. At Hopscotch and Harmony we invite all parents to attend by themselves to meet the psychologist and ask questions. During this meeting, the psychologist can also provide suggestions on what you can do at home to help support your teen. 
  • If your teen has had a negative experience already, ask "what wasn’t helpful?" or "what didn’t you like about therapy?". Ask "what did you like?". You can then work together to find someone who has more of the positive qualities.
  • Recommend a few psychologists and show the teen the psychologists’ website and photos. Encourage the teen to read the information about each psychologist and have the teen decide who it is they prefer to see. Having ownership of the process is extremely important for the teen to engage in effective therapy.  

• Don’t give up
  • If you are disheartened because your teen refuses to see a psychologist, gently continue to bring up the conversation. Listen to your teen without judgement and try and understand their feelings behind their resistance. If your connection with your teen is nurtured and strengthened then your teen is more likely to come to you when they are ready for help.

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Jessica Cleary, Director & Psychologist
Jessica is the founding director of Hopscotch & Harmony Psychology, and the founder of Hula Hope Classrooms, a training organisation for early childhood educators.
She is also the grateful mother of three children. She is passionate about building resilience in children, supporting the well-being of parents and helping parents guide their children's behaviour through positive, effective parenting approaches.