 How to Navigate Conflict in Healthy Ways
Arguments and disagreements are a natural part of any relationship—whether with a partner, friend, or colleague. The key isn’t to avoid conflict altogether but to handle it in a way that strengthens rather than damages your connection. Here are some practical strategies for resolving conflicts in a constructive way: Stay Calm It’s easy to react emotionally in the heat of the moment, but frustration and anger often make things worse. Take a breath, step back if needed, and aim to approach the conversation with a level head. Pick the Right Time and Place Timing and setting matter. Avoid addressing serious issues when you’re in a rush, exhausted, or surrounded by distractions. Instead, find a private, calm space where both of you can engage without feeling pressured or defensive. Focus on the Problem, Not the Person It’s tempting to point fingers, but blame only fuels defensiveness. Instead, frame the conversation around the issue itself. Speak from your own perspective, using “I” statements rather than accusations, and take responsibility for your role in the situation. Listen—Really Listen When emotions run high, it’s easy to focus on formulating your next response instead of truly hearing the other person. Try to listen without interrupting or planning a rebuttal. Reflect back what they’re saying to ensure you understand before responding. Brainstorm Solutions Together Instead of immediately evaluating or dismissing suggestions, allow space for both of you to explore possible solutions. Approach the issue as a team, working collaboratively rather than seeing each other as opponents. Commit to the Resolution Once you’ve agreed on a path forward, follow through. Understand that resolving conflict isn’t always a one-time conversation—it takes time, effort, and patience. Expect setbacks, but don’t let them derail progress. When Resolution Feels Out of Reach Sometimes, even with the best intentions, a conflict remains unresolved. It’s worth asking yourself: Do I truly want to resolve this, or is something else at play? If the same issues keep resurfacing, there may be a deeper dynamic to explore. Keep Trying If things don’t get fully resolved the first time, don’t give up. Acknowledge any progress made, agree to revisit the conversation later, and keep communication open. Sometimes, just reducing tension is a step in the right direction. If you’re struggling with ongoing conflict, our psychologists can help you navigate challenges with insight and clarity. Book an appointment with us to get support tailored to your situation. Social Media, Selfies and Self-Esteem: 4 questions to ask your teen and helpful messages to discuss13/5/2024
 How can you support your teen’s development in the age of social media? Self-esteem development during adolescence is an important area of focus for psychology. Self-esteem refers to the judgements young people make about their worth as a person and is closely associated with mental well-being. The way that we are communicating with peers has changed dramatically over the past decade with the growth of social media platforms such as Facebook and Instagram. Although social media has made communication and keeping up with peers easier, it has brought about an added pressure to adolescent’s self-esteem development. It has never been easier to compare yourself to peers than it is right now. On social media, your life is on show and young people are able to create a beautiful ‘highlights reel’ which is often unrealistic and highly filtered. This in turn feeds comparison to unachievable standards and can leave you feeling not good enough. Here are some conversation starters to have with your adolescents as well as some helpful messages that we need to be sending about social media. Sit down with your adolescent and ask them: “What does it feel like when your post doesn’t get many likes?” Helpful messages to discuss:
Look at Instafamous celebrities’ profiles with your child and ask, “What do you think about this person’s profile? What does their life look like to you?” Helpful messages to discuss:
“How do you feel when you compare your number of ‘friends’ to other people’s number of ‘friends’?”
"What inspires you on your social media feeds?"
Helping your teens to think about their motivations behind posting up that hundredth sexy selfie will help them (and you) to think about healthier ways of getting validation and building self-esteem. It’s probably not going to drastically change their posting behaviour, but it might help them to see their online behaviour through a new lens. Through having this conversation, you might be able to come up with ideas about other ways to feel confident – such as learning about their strengths and building on them. This is how positive self-esteem is developed. It might even help you to reflect on whether your child has enough opportunities to experience success and develop their strengths. If not, think about how you can facilitate this by increasing their opportunities in the ‘offline’ world. Remember, social media is a big part of your teens life so understanding more about it will help you to show your interest in your child’s life bringing you closer together which is so important for your relationship. If you have concerns about negative impacts that social media is having on your child’s self-esteem and you are unsure how to tackle this, speak with a psychologist skilled in this area. Alyce Galea. Psychologist  The way we communicate with others tends to fall into one of four styles: Passive, Aggressive, Passive Aggressive and Assertive. We may often adopt the one communication style in all interactions, or we communicate with different styles depending on who we are speaking with.
Let's look at the main traits of each communication style... Passive: Passive communicators have a tendency to avoid expressing their feelings or opinions, and shy away from standing up for themselves and their rights. This is often due to a fear of conflict, low confidence or anxiety about how people will respond to them. Because they don’t feel comfortable expressing themselves, they will often harbour resentment and let emotions buildup until they reach breaking point. Following an emotional outburst, they may feel shame and guilt, and return to being passive again. Aggressive: Aggressive communicators sit at the other end of the spectrum. They are very confident in expressing themselves and getting what they want, regardless of how their actions affect others. They often issue commands, are bad listeners and often lack empathy for the feelings of others. Passive Aggressive: Passive Aggressive communicators appear passive on the surface, but often express subtle or indirect aggressions. They are often aware of their needs and emotional experiences, but struggle to express them in a helpful way. Instead of openly communicating what they need or how they feel, they may instead express their grievances or annoyances through giving someone the silent treatment, spreading rumours, or making sarcastic or unhelpful remarks. These communicators often feel powerless, stuck and resentful because they are unable to effectively express themselves. Assertive: Assertive communicators are able to express their needs and feelings in a healthy and helpful way. They are empathetic and aware of how their actions may impact on someone, and are able to negotiate ways of having their needs met, without being overbearing, rude or hurting others. Assertive communicators understand that they may not get what they want all of the time, but are willing to compromise if it means having some of their needs met. When communication breaks down, it’s often because the ways we communicate and the habits we’ve formed often get in the way. We might have good intentions and an idea of how we would like to express ourselves going into a conversation with our teens, but as emotions heighten and we find ourselves feeling frustrated or impatient, what we want to say and how we want to say it might come out wrong or get misunderstood, leading to further breakdowns in our communication with them. The good news is that with practice, we can improve the way we relate and communicate with others! For more personalised support around communication and relationships in your life, please book in with one of our friendly psychologists.  The way we communicate with others tends to fall into one of four styles: Passive, Aggressive, Passive Aggressive and Assertive. We may often adopt the one communication style in all interactions, or we communicate with different styles depending on who we are speaking with.
Let's look at the main traits of each communication style... Passive: Passive communicators have a tendency to avoid expressing their feelings or opinions, and shy away from standing up for themselves and their rights. This is often due to a fear of conflict, low confidence or anxiety about how people will respond to them. Because they don’t feel comfortable expressing themselves, they will often harbour resentment and let emotions buildup until they reach breaking point. Following an emotional outburst, they may feel shame and guilt, and return to being passive again. Aggressive: Aggressive communicators sit at the other end of the spectrum. They are very confident in expressing themselves and getting what they want, regardless of how their actions affect others. They often issue commands, are bad listeners and often lack empathy for the feelings of others. Passive Aggressive: Passive Aggressive communicators appear passive on the surface, but often express subtle or indirect aggressions. They are often aware of their needs and emotional experiences, but struggle to express them in a helpful way. Instead of openly communicating what they need or how they feel, they may instead express their grievances or annoyances through giving someone the silent treatment, spreading rumours, or making sarcastic or unhelpful remarks. These communicators often feel powerless, stuck and resentful because they are unable to effectively express themselves. Assertive: Assertive communicators are able to express their needs and feelings in a healthy and helpful way. They are empathetic and aware of how their actions may impact on someone, and are able to negotiate ways of having their needs met, without being overbearing, rude or hurting others. Assertive communicators understand that they may not get what they want all of the time, but are willing to compromise if it means having some of their needs met. When communication breaks down, it’s often because the ways we communicate and the habits we’ve formed often get in the way. We might have good intentions and an idea of how we would like to express ourselves going into a conversation with our teens, but as emotions heighten and we find ourselves feeling frustrated or impatient, what we want to say and how we want to say it might come out wrong or get misunderstood, leading to further breakdowns in our communication with them. The good news is that with practice, we can improve the way we relate and communicate with others! For more personalised support around communication and relationships in your life, please book in with one of our friendly psychologists. Jesse Diggins, Psychologist  As school and work begins for another year, so does the daily ritual of inquiring about our loved one’s day. Children and adults alike give the customary, ‘good’ and the conversation halts before it ever gained any momentum. We can do better! Here are 7 new questions to ask to avoid that dreaded loop. 1. What went well today? This question is used as a part of a core exercise by Positive Psychologists because it promotes reflection on our strengths and generates gratitude. To take this further and get closer to the original exercise titled ‘Three Blessings’, ask the question three times over and follow it with the question, ‘Why did it go well?’. 2. Who helped you today? 3. Who did you help today? These questions are used ritually at one of my workplaces. They create a sense of community and connection with peers. For parents, these questions may be helpful in identifying the positive relationships in your child’s life that you can encourage to grow. 4. What are you learning at the moment? 5. What are you working on at the moment? 6. What did you find challenging today? All of the above are open-ended questions. Unlike closed questions - such as ‘How was your day?’, or, ‘Did you have a good day?’ - these open-ended questions are difficult to answer with just one word. Counsellors use these questions all the time as they generate conversation flow and elicit useful information. 7. What would your teacher/boss say about you? Another way of disrupting the default reaction to label our day with basic adjectives is by changing the perspective. Stepping outside ourselves provides this circuit breaker and prompts a deeper level of insight that can get us thinking and communicating.
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Hopscotch & HarmonyAt Hopscotch & Harmony Psychology, you can expect compassionate care and evidence-based guidance on your journey to wellness.
With clinics in Werribee and Belmont, as well as providing online counselling to clients who live throughout Australia, our dedicated team of psychologists and dietitians are committed to providing support to children, teenagers and adults. With a focus on understanding your unique needs, we offer tailored solutions to foster growth and resilience. Trust in our experience and dedication as we work together towards your well-being. Welcome to a place where healing begins and possibilities abound. |
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