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Jessica Cleary, Psychologist  How did your kids go at the beginning of the new school year? If you do kinder or school drop-off you will have noticed some kids take the new challenge in their stride, whereas others have a much harder time with the transition and separation from their parents.
Maybe you found yourself with a little one who was crying and clinging and begging you not to leave. I feel for you if this was the case – it’s so hard! Or maybe your child complained of tummy-aches or headaches before leaving home. This is a common symptom of anxiety. It’s fairly common for some kids to have troubles adjusting to school. Although there is no magic solution when supporting your child through separation anxiety, here are some ideas for you: Find a friend It helps immensely when kids have a friend at school. Ask the teacher who your child seems to play with the most and introduce yourself to the parent at either drop off or pick up. Arrange a play date over at your house or a park to help nurture that relationship. Talk about it ahead of time If you know that tomorrow is likely to be another morning of tears and clingy behaviour then talk about it today when you are both feeling calm and relaxed. When children fear something, they need the opportunity to express and feel their feelings. Some of their worries or concerns may seem small or insignificant to us, but for them they are very real and should be believed and respected. It is important to acknowledge that the feeling of worry is very real for your child. After you've validated their feelings, then gently move to problem solving. Remind them of the fun parts of the day like playing with a friend or lunchtime (if this is fun for them). Remind them that after a little bit of upset they were able to enjoy the school day and they got to do new and exciting things. Let them know that you will ALWAYS come back at the end of the day to pick them up (or make sure they know the plan if there is after-school care). Team up with the teacher Work in partnership with the teacher. Experienced teachers have been through this before so are likely to have a few good ideas. If the separation anxiety doesn’t ease after a few days the teacher may be able to give your child a special job to do immediately upon getting to school. This will serve as a transition activity and is something for him to look forward to. Get to school early so the teacher can personally greet your child and take him to the activity. Don’t focus on the separation On the way to school talk about the first thing your child will do once they get in the classroom. It shifts the focus from the separation to the enjoyable activity. This helps them mentally prepare before they are physically at school. They start to visualise the inside of the classroom and can start to get used to the idea of being there. Something like this: “When you go to the reading corner, what book are you going to read first?” or “Which colouring in page will you choose when you get there – the train or the castle?”. Or if you have an arrangement with the teacher (see previous tip) you can talk about this with enthusiasm. Don’t talk about ‘school’ At home in the morning, don’t talk about ‘school’ too much. Talk about ‘reading time’ and ‘drawing’ and 'play time’. Talk about that first activity that he will be doing with the teacher (if you have one planned). The word ‘school’ may currently have a negative, anxiety provoking association for your child so minimise using that work might help if this is the case. Instead talk about the activities they will be doing at school that you know they enjoy. This makes the idea of school more concrete and less abstract. Transitional objects A special note from you kept in their pocket, or matching love hearts drawn on their hand your hand can help your child feel connected to you during time apart. Other issues Sometimes separation anxiety occurs in the context of more generalised anxiety or trauma. Maybe there is a real problem at school that is causing distress. Listen carefully to your child and do a little detective work if you sense there is more to the story. Could it be that they don't know how to ask to go to the toilet? Or they are being bullied? Do they find it hard navigating the school grounds at recess? Listen carefully and get more information from the teacher to help you work out what the underlying problem may be. When to seek professional support Often patience and using the above tips can ease separation anxiety. However, there are times when it is necessary to reach out for additional support. You may need further help if:
Finally Remember, your child isn’t trying to manipulate you in order to stay home. The feelings are real for your child and quite distressing. Although you may not always be able to prevent the separation anxiety, you can always empathise with your child and connect with them with cuddles and snuggles at the end of the day. You wouldn’t be the first parent to cry on your way to work after holding it together at school drop-off. This experience is so very stressful for parents. Look after yourself to help manage your own stress. Sleep (if you're at a a stage of parenting where that's possible!) and eat well and talk to a trusted friend who will listen and support you. Taking care of yourself and allowing yourself your own emotional release will help keep you centred and more emotionally available for your child. Jessica Cleary. Director & Psychologist  Your child’s classroom teacher will spend an enormous amount of time with your child – much of your child’s waking hours during the week will be with his or her teacher. The relationships between teacher, parent and child will affect your child’s level of happiness over the school year, so it’s important so start off on a positive note and continue to work together with your child’s best interests at heart.
1. First introductions The first week of school is a very hectic time for teachers who are busy getting to know new students, are planning for the year, and are meeting many parents. Before school on the first day is not the time to corner the teacher and give a run down of your child’s academic history and personal accomplishments. However, make a connection in those first few days by introducing yourself and ask if you could meet at a mutually convenient time to introduce yourself further. In the meantime a short letter to the teacher helps him or her get to know your child. You could list your child’s strength and interests, your goals and hopes for the coming year, and your contact details. It’s a good idea to hold off on the negative stuff (unless it is significant). Highlighting that “Susie can be cheeky” or “Max can be a bit of a terror at times” is probably going to influence the teacher’s first impression of your child. Highlight the positives and the essentials, and you are off to a good start. 2. Keep that communication going Communicate regularly throughout the year. It is important for teachers to know if there are circumstances at home that may affect your child’s behaviour at school. This could be parental separation, a family member’s illness, or even something exciting like a new baby or upcoming holiday. Regular, ongoing communication is essential – don’t rely on the few parent-teacher interviews as a way to connect. Let the teacher know when everything is going right throughout the year – when your child comes home bubbly and beaming with happiness, when your child is enjoying homework projects, when your child tells fun stories about the day. A little note of appreciation can make a teacher’s day (especially if it’s been a challenging one). 3. Dealing with conflict If your child comes home saying how their teacher yelled at them in front of everyone, empathise with their feelings (“gee, that must have felt pretty bad, huh?”) but try and retain a neutral stance until you have more information. Don’t approach the teacher all guns blazing (which sets the stage for conflict). Instead, find a way to ask the teacher if everything is ok. You never know – the teacher may have had a really tough day or something might be going on in the teacher’s personal life. Teachers are humans first, and being supportive is likely to generate the best outcomes for your child. 4. Helping out in class Enormous insight into your child’s learning experience is gained by helping out in the classroom. Offering an hour or two here and there is a nice way to stay connected with what’s happening in the learning environment and to show your child that you and the teacher are working as a team. Even if you can’t come in during the day, you can still offer to help out. You could ask for a job to do at home (e.g., put together a classroom display) and work on it alongside your child while they do homework, or drop in some craft supplies to the class for an upcoming project. If you and the teacher are a team then your child is likely to feel more secure and safe at school and home. By being positive and supportive throughout the year the teacher is likely to be more responsive and helpful when you raise concerns. If we are on the same page as our teachers then our children do better. Have a great school year!  Many people tend to find it difficult to differentiate between fear, anxiety and stress. Although all experiences are quite normal, it is important to know the difference so you can seek the most appropriate support if necessary.
Here are a few defining features of the three experiences:
Fear and stress:
Anxiety:
There are three components that contribute to feeling anxious:
We have fear and anxiety in non life-threatening situations because of the way we interpret the situation. If you are struggling with fear, stress or anxiety and are needing some support, please contact the clinic to book in an appointment with one of our psychologists  This time of year means different things for different people. It can be a time where families come together, a time when we are reminded of what might have been, a time of joy or a time of sadness. Emotions are heightened and stress levels can be high.
When our stress levels are running high it doesn’t take much to send us over the edge and get fired up about things that wouldn’t normally bother us.. To keep the rising stress at bay, here are 6 ways to reduce the Chirstmas chaos overwhelm.
The beauty about these ideas is that you can start immediately. They are simple and if you can introduce a couple of them to your days, you are sure to notice a difference in the way you feel. Alyce Galea, Psychologist  Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence based approach that is very commonly used at our practice. The core principles of ACT are:
The “Passengers on the Bus” metaphor, and it’s variations, is a popular and effective way to gain new perspective on the impacts of “giving in” to your unhelpful thoughts and discomfort. This video is a play on the metaphor and describes your life journey as a plane ride. Let’s refer to your unhelpful thoughts and difficult feelings as “bossy passengers” on your plane.
If the passengers on your life plane were saying awful things about you and making you doubt yourself how would you feel? Would it be fair to stop the plane to argue with these passengers? What might you miss out on if you “give in” to the bossy passengers and let them fly your plane? What might happen instead if you made space for these unpleasant passengers and continued guiding your plane in the direction you wanted to take? With support from our clinicians, you can start to identify some of these “bossy passengers” and unwanted thoughts and feelings, and learn how to make space for them.  It’s almost inevitable to have an argument or disagreement with a friend or partner.
Here are some tips for healthy conflict resolution:
Book in with one of our psychologists for further support Alyce Galea, Psychologist  Urge surfing is a helpful technique when your way of dealing with stress and overwhelm is particularly unhelpful, unhealthy or harmful.
For example, if your automatic response to feeling overwhelmed is to over eat, use substances or self harm, then this technique is an important one to learn and practice. The goal of this technique is to delay acting on the urge, until the feeling of the urge goes away. One way to think about an urge is like the urge being a wave and you being a surfer. A surfer doesn’t fight against the wave or run away from the wave, instead, they ride the wave until they reach the shore. Urge surfing is about riding the emotional wave. Not fighting with the need to resist the urge, and not giving into the urge. Simply noticing the urge and letting it run its course. Mastering this technique will take some time, patience and practice. But once you are able to get the hang of it, you’ll be better able to regulate your emotions in a helpful and healthy way. The easiest way to practice urge surfing is to set timed intervals between when you first notice the urge, and when you allow yourself to act on the urge, and then do something during that time to distract yourself and keep you busy. Things you could do to distract yourself could be to:
The more you practice this skill, the easier it will be for you to ride out the urge wave and not let the urge dominate your thoughts. If you are struggling with managing unhelpful thoughts or urges, please book an appointment with one of our psychologists Alyce Galea, Psychologist  Emotions such as fear, anger, grief and many others can negatively affect us long after the original event that caused them.
When our body fails to “let go” of these emotions we can find ourselves with unexplained hatred, self-sabotaging behaviours, destructive beliefs, phobias and many chronic physical problems. Why Do People Bottle Up Their Emotions?
What Happens When You Pent Up Your Emotions
Ways to release bottled up emotions
Book an appointment with one of our friendly psychologists for more support Alyce Galea, Psychologist  What is self-esteem?
A healthy level of self-esteem is important because it allows you to live life to your potential. Low self-esteem and poor confidence is often associated with negative thoughts about yourself, which can mean that you are likely to give up easily rather than face challenges. High Self-esteem is the satisfaction and confidence you have in yourself as a person. Low Self-esteem is the low opinion you have of yourself, the doubt, blaming behaviour and negative view of yourself. People react to your beliefs and behaviour - if you're positive about yourself then you'll get positive feedback, reinforcing your perception of your original belief. People with negative self esteem often find it hard to accept compliments, and they may see themselves as being worthless, ugly or incompetent. When trying to make friends or approach new people, those with low self-esteem may not feel worthy enough of being someone’s friend or partner. People who avoid or put off talking to new people will often find it very difficult to make friends. People with low self-esteem might also believe that they don’t deserve to be happy. Fortunately, we can change our beliefs about ourselves! Book in with one of our friendly psychologists for support in improving your self-esteem Alyce Galea, Psychologist  It is essential that our young people learn how to manage the intensity of their emotions, and work through their emotions in a healthy and helpful way.
It is not something that that we are inherently born knowing how to do, so it is important that parents and/or caregivers help facilitate a safe space for children to learn emotion regulation. Here are 5 important tips to help you help your children: 1. Be warm, accepting and responsive to your child’s emotional needs
3. Accept, support and show empathy to validate their feelings
4. Be patient
5. Try not to ignore, dismiss, discourage, punish or react negatively to emotions, especially negative emotion
By being in touch with your own emotions and being mindful of how you manage them, you can be a role model for your children and help them feel safe to express their own emotions in a healthy and helpful way. For more parenting support or for support for your child, please contact the clinic to book an appointment. Alyce Galea, Psychologist  It is most likely the time that most students dread...Exam time!
Although for some people, stress can motivate them to be more organised and devote more time to study, for others, prolonged stress can be counterproductive and debilitating. For a lot of students, exam time can be a daunting and stressful period, but it doesn’t have to be! Here are some tips that might help you to manage stress around exam time... 1. Think about why you are stressed:
2. Take time to plan:
3. Make self care a priority
4. Rest
5. Set good boundaries
Above all, remember that this period of stress is only temporary! If you continue to feel stress or anxious after the exams, it might be helpful to speak to someone (a teacher, family member, friend, psychologist) about what you can do to manage these feelings next exam period. Book an appointment with one of our psychologists for more support with school issues and exam stress  Consider your general wellbeing as a bucket.
Whenever you experience a situation that causes stress, you pour a metaphorical glass of water into that bucket. What will happen over time if you don’t actively address those stressors and release water out of that bucket? It will overflow! So if that bucket represents our emotional health, the act of the bucket overflowing represents times where we feel overwhelmed, out of control and exhausted. Our goal is to find ways of releasing some of that stress on a regular basis, so that our bucket never overflows. If you or your child require support in managing stress or anxiety, please contact the clinic to book in with one of our friendly psychologists  Did you know that the average person can have up to 60,000 thoughts in one day?!
Even without being fully aware of what we’re thinking, our brain is often going a million miles per hour. And a lot of what we think is negative, and the same worries that we had yesterday. This makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, because our ancestors needed to constantly be scanning their environments for threats and pre-empting any potential dangers. Helpful when being attacked by a sabre toothed tiger was a legitimate concern, but not so much in our day to day lives! Here are some quick tips if you find yourself worrying a lot... - try to catch yourself when you’re having a negative thought - ask yourself “Is this thought true and helpful?” and “What might happen if I choose to ignore this thought?” If you experience worry or anxiety and would like support, please contact the clinic to book an appointment with one of our psychologists  You might be able to recall a time where you’ve felt...
- emotionally drained; - you’ve become more distant at work; - and you’ve started to feel like nothing you do is ever good enough. Does that sound familiar? Now, more than ever, employees are reporting high levels of burnout. You’re exhausted. We all are. I encourage you to focus on nourishing your body. Notice what it needs and respond accordingly. Think about the last week... How mindful have you been about what you have put into your body? Have you made it a priority to move your body? How kind and compassionate have you been to your body? Have you taken the time to really treat and care your body? If you are feeling burnout and require therapeutic support, we have immediate availability with for adult clients  Do you know the phrase “Making a mountain out of a molehill”?
This can be all too familiar for people who experience anxiety One fleeting thought can trigger a spiral of related thoughts and worries And almost immediately what might have seemed like only a minor worry has become an overwhelming thought When you notice yourself spiralling, it can help to stop and question the thought You might want to ask yourself whether the thought is a fact, and try to find evidence to support or debunk your worry You’ll likely find that the thought is just that...a thought! If you are wanting support to manage worry or anxiety, please book an appointment with one of our friendly psychologists  I recall reading this quote in an article about the importance of dealing with your emotions, and it really resonated with me
“When you’re busy trying to numb your emotions, your emotions are in the next room doing push ups” Unfortunately, uncomfortable emotions such as sadness or anger don’t magically disappear when we don’t want to feel them The longer we try to push away unwanted emotions, the stronger they might become So instead, we need to learn how to lean into the emotions, and to “feel all of the feels” We shouldn’t fear our emotions. They are all part of the human experience! Book an appointment with one of our friendly psychologists if you're wanting support to learn how to manage your emotions  Often we think of trauma as only encompassing issues such as abuse, injury or disaster.
However people can experience trauma in many other ways. Consider the impact that pandemic has had on us over the past few years. I don’t know about you, but my physical and emotional wellbeing has definitely taken a hit. I know many people who have described the impact of the pandemic as a traumatic experience, the effects of which they might continue to experience for years to come. This is why it’s so important, now more than ever, to ensure that you and your family are making sure to look after yourselves Book an appointment with one of our friendly psychologists for further support  For some people who experience symptoms of anxiety, it can feel like an all consuming tug of war with their own internal monster.
The monster, in this instance, represents your... - anxious thoughts - your concerns - your “worst case scenarios” How physically and mentally exhausting must it be to constantly be fighting against your own thoughts? But what might happen if you drop the rope? Imagine how freeing that would feel! When you notice yourself fighting with your thoughts, acknowledge that you’re in a battle of tug of war, and choose to let go of the rope. If you are needing support to manage your anxious thoughts, please contact our clinic to book in an appointment Sarah Kruse. Provisional Psychologist 
Jessica Cleary. Director & Psychologist  Sometimes it is challenging getting teens the psychological help they need. Here are some tips to help you...
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Hopscotch & HarmonyAt Hopscotch & Harmony Psychology, you can expect compassionate care and evidence-based guidance on your journey to wellness.
With clinics in Werribee and Belmont, as well as providing online counselling to clients who live throughout Australia, our dedicated team of psychologists and dietitians are committed to providing support to children, teenagers and adults. With a focus on understanding your unique needs, we offer tailored solutions to foster growth and resilience. Trust in our experience and dedication as we work together towards your well-being. Welcome to a place where healing begins and possibilities abound. |
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Child, Teen and Adult Psychology Our Locations:
WERRIBEE: 1/167-179 Shaws Rd
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