Alyce Galea. Psychologist
Talking with a highly emotional teenager can be tough! When our emotions are heightened, our ability to access and use the thinking part of our brain can become really difficult, and it can be almost impossible for us to use rational thought.
Here are some tips on how best to communicate with your teen when they are in an emotional state:
1. Remain calm and check in with yourself.
There is very little benefit to trying to communicate with your teen when they are in a heightened state, and the same goes for when you are experiencing big emotions.The most helpful thing you can do in this situation is to check in with yourself and try to remain calm as best you can.
If your teens can sense your calm, they are more likely to calm themselves and be in a better position to effectively communicate with you. There is a scientific principle called neuroception that helps us understand this - when we are in the presence of a calm person, our brain picks up on those calming signals and our brain understands that we are safe. Being safe leads to feelings of calm.
2. Be present.
Although your teen may not want to have a conversation with you, it’s important that they know that you are there for them and available to talk when they are ready. That gesture alone might be enough for them to trust that you are open and willing to hear them out.
3. Take a strengths based, non judgemental approach.
Although you might not agree with how your teens behave, or how they should feel in a response to a certain situation, it’s helpful to provide a safe, non judgemental space for them to vent and talk it out.
4. Offer to listen and comfort, rather than “fix” things.
Your job is not to fix things, per se, but to coach your children, offer the support they need and encourage them to practice skills of emotion regulation and problem solving, until they find what works for them. The way we problem solve and deal with our emotions, may not be particularly helpful for our teens.
It’s important to remember that when we come to the solution for a problem ourselves, often with support from another person, we’re more likely to be able to make sense of the problem solutions and put them into practice - rather than when somebody imposes their solutions on us.
5. Expect rejection and avoid feeling disheartened.
Adjust your expectations about how the conversations might go, so that you can avoid feeling disheartened or taking things personally. Your teen might test you a little until they can trust that you genuinely care and want to help them. It may take some time and persistence to reconnect with your teen, don’t be put off. If you’re willing to make the changes to better communicate with them, they will come through.
I hope this has given you some helpful tips to be able to alter the way you communicate with your teens to build a stronger connection with them.
Contact the clinic if you are in need of parenting support or support for your teen
Alyce Galea. Psychologist
The way we communicate with others tends to fall into one of four styles: Passive, Aggressive, Passive Aggressive and Assertive. We may often adopt the one communication style in all interactions, or we communicate with different styles depending on who we are speaking with.
Let's look at the main traits of each communication style...
Passive: Passive communicators have a tendency to avoid expressing their feelings or opinions, and shy away from standing up for themselves and their rights. This is often due to a fear of conflict, low confidence or anxiety about how people will respond to them. Because they don’t feel comfortable expressing themselves, they will often harbour resentment and let emotions buildup until they reach breaking point. Following an emotional outburst, they may feel shame and guilt, and return to being passive again.
Aggressive: Aggressive communicators sit at the other end of the spectrum. They are very confident in expressing themselves and getting what they want, regardless of how their actions affect others. They often issue commands, are bad listeners and often lack empathy for the feelings of others.
Passive Aggressive: Passive Aggressive communicators appear passive on the surface, but often express subtle or indirect aggressions. They are often aware of their needs and emotional experiences, but struggle to express them in a helpful way. Instead of openly communicating what they need or how they feel, they may instead express their grievances or annoyances through giving someone the silent treatment, spreading rumours, or making sarcastic or unhelpful remarks. These communicators often feel powerless, stuck and resentful because they are unable to effectively express themselves.
Assertive: Assertive communicators are able to express their needs and feelings in a healthy and helpful way. They are empathetic and aware of how their actions may impact on someone, and are able to negotiate ways of having their needs met, without being overbearing, rude or hurting others. Assertive communicators understand that they may not get what they want all of the time, but are willing to compromise if it means having some of their needs met.
When communication breaks down, it’s often because the ways we communicate and the habits we’ve formed often get in the way. We might have good intentions and an idea of how we would like to express ourselves going into a conversation with our teens, but as emotions heighten and we find ourselves feeling frustrated or impatient, what we want to say and how we want to say it might come out wrong or get misunderstood, leading to further breakdowns in our communication with them.
The good news is that with practice, we can improve the way we relate and communicate with others!
For more personalised support around communication and relationships in your life, please book in with one of our friendly psychologists.
In a world where we are encouraged to grow and thrive, we are also conditioned that weighing less equates to health.
This relationship between weight and health fails to fully recognise the complexities of weight loss nor does it acknowledge the risks associated with these messages.
This toxic dialogue is drilled into us from a young age, and is almost unescapable unless you live under a ‘rock’.
It swamps us on our social media pages from #fitspo to food pics of ‘super healthy’ bowls of rabbit food with a side of magical sprinkles which somehow detoxes you from head to toe.
You may also be aware of every second ad on TV selling an ‘ab king pro’ or a new weight loss program that are marketed with the words; health, non-restrictive and mindful.
Maybe you have an experience of hearing about a family member or close friend's newest dieting fad and not hearing the end of it.
I would like to introduce a term called ‘diet-culture’ and this is what diet culture is in a nutshell.
The diet industry is a multimillion-dollar industry who make their money off our failed dieting attempts.
I say this with respect, it’s not you, it's them.
Diets suck and they all go bottom up because most humans cannot stick to them.
Then the dieting cycle starts – restrict, HUNGER, refuel, feel guilty (because your body did its job and responded to restriction) ….so you tell yourself you’ll start again Monday.
Do you believe me now when I say its unescapable?
The sad truth is, if a body does not fit into what society deems is an okay body, our world encourages behaviours alike to behaviours of someone with a clinical eating disorder.
The catch is… health is so much more than what we look like, how much we eat and what size jeans we fit into.
The issue is that it is incredibly complex and when we comply to societies standards it can be counterproductive and effect your relationship to your body, exercise, and food.
This doesn’t mean nourishing your body goes out the window.
It means it can be done in a way that you can sustain and enjoy – with a side of gentle nutrition and self-compassion.
For all bodies, nourishment is always going to assist in achieving wellness.
Lauren works with clients from all over Australia via Telehealth so you can have an appointment with her from the comfort of your own home.
You’re probably thinking ‘Eh…. another dietitian’.
I know, I know, I hear you.
I think we probably all have experienced the dreaded dietitian experience…the anxious build up prior to an appointment or perhaps a memory of being forced to step on a scale to feel more humiliated about our bodies. I understand that uncomfortable feeling all too well and can relate it to a herd of sheep cattle being lined up for slaughter.
Did I say I hear you?
Well, I can reassure you that this old way of practicing has long been thrown out the window. I mean the very back window, thrown in the trash then sent to the garbage tip.
My goal as a dietitian is to assist my clients in freeing themselves from the guilt and shame around food and their bodies.
I want to be able to change the thinking around societies expectations of us in terms of what we ‘should and should not eat’ and ‘should and should not look like’.
I aim to guide and empower my clients to feel free from food and diet mentality so they can actually enjoy all the greatness of life.
So, what do I do?
During my assessments I take into consideration all the nitty gritty that makes you YOU!
We discuss what makes up your life, medical histories and what you want to achieve from seeing me. This could be for a range of things, such as managing chronic disease or just stepping away from dieting because you have finally come to terms that they are just not for you. You’re not alone, for most people diets don’t work because no one can stick to them…..Mic drop.
I also won’t force weigh you or make you feel pressured to tell me your number. Again, this is about you and if it ever comes up it is always discussed with your permission and with respect.
We would then catch up regularly based on what would be appropriate for you and reflect and debrief on how you’re going then guide you in the right direction nutritionally until our next visit.
How freeing would it be to stop putting our bodies through diet hell and start appreciating it for housing everything that makes us….US?
Who’s with me?
I work with clients all over Australia via Telehealth so if you want to overcome any food issues then enquire about a session now.
Lauren Carmichael, Dietitian
"I consider myself a passionate and dedicated practitioner who practices under a body inclusive lens. I pride myself on being a non-diet dietitian meaning I try my best to steer away from diet culture and what our world says we ‘need to eat and do’ to be healthy. Instead, I put my focus on wellness which I am very aware looks different on everyone."
Tamsyn White, Principal Psychologist
One of the most common questions our Client Relationships Team (CRT) field from new or prospective clients is how long they/their child might need therapy for.
As you can imagine, this question is a little tricky to answer for anyone, and even your therapist may not know the answer straight away. It’s a bit like trying to answer “how long is a piece of string” - until we understand the full nature of your concerns, we might not be able to give you a satisfactory answer to this very important question!
Still there are some things that we can tell you, and some of these are backed up by good scientific research and evidence.
Firstly, we care about you and want the best for you! We’re dedicated to helping you improve the quality of your life, your wellbeing, and to reaching your therapeutic goals. We will take the time to get to know you, what works for you in therapy - and what doesn’t - and we want to hear from you if you have any concerns about how your therapy is going.
We also really believe in your strengths and what you bring to the table. We know that you’re doing amazing things in your life, and receiving help from a psychologist, OT, or other allied health professional is designed to add to your wellbeing. We’re always grateful when you choose us to be part of your journey.
We know that most clients who attend therapy do not want to be attending for the rest of their lives. Whilst some clients may need blocks of therapy throughout their lifespan to ensure that they maintain wellness, this is not true for all clients.
So...How Many Sessions?
Research indicates that 50% of people seeking psychology treatment will require, on average, 13 - 18 sessions in order to see “significant” improvements in their identified treatment goal areas, and to sustain those changes in the long term (i.e. at 12 and 18 month post-therapy check ins).
The remaining 50% of people seeking psychology services will require somewhere between 20 to 70 sessions, depending on a range of factors - such as the complexity of their difficulties/presenting issues, the supports they have in place, other therapies they engage in (such as OT and Psychology concurrently), whether new difficulties arise during their course of treatment.
Research also currently indicates that psychology clients attend only 5.5 sessions on average in Australia!
This means that there are lots of people who stop attending treatment just as they’re starting to get to the ‘good stuff’.
How can I get the most out of my time at H&H?
This may mean prioritising therapeutic appointments even over other really important things in life, like attending school or going to work. Where it would be helpful, we’re happy to provide our clients with attendance certificates to ensure that school or work know that you’ve taken the time for a really important reason.
We will always offer telehealth appointments, also, so that you can skip the travel to and from our offices, and get down to the important business as quickly as possible!*
*(Please note that at the time of writing this blog piece, Medicare rebates are available for Mental Health Treatment Plan clients for telehealth sessions until June 2021. Hopscotch and Harmony will endeavour to keep all our clients informed should this arrangement change and affect their funding options.)
2020 was the year where the use of the word ‘unprecedented’ hit, well, unprecedented levels! We went through so much together and we’re grateful to our clients, their families, and, of course, our staff for their ongoing flexibility with regard to the measures we’ve introduced as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic.
As you know Hopscotch and Harmony, like many other businesses, have had to adapt our practices to protect those most vulnerable within our community. All Victorians know the hard work and dedication that was required to get the COVID-19 infection numbers down to the low levels that we’re now accustomed to seeing in early 2021.
This has, inevitably, led to questions about when our clinicians will start seeing clients face-to-face in the rooms again. Unfortunately there is no simple answer to this!
Some clinicians have let the management team know that Telehealth and Teletherapy works well for their clients and suits their personal circumstances, and they have no intention of resuming face-to-face work in the foreseeable future. The management staff at Hopscotch and Harmony support them in this.
Other clinicians are ready and able to start seeing some clients within the rooms. However, there MUST be clear limitations on both the number of clients we see in the rooms at any given time, as well as an ongoing adherence to the DHHS rules around COVID-19 restrictions. These continue to state that if our clinicians CAN work from home - they MUST work from home. This means that in the short-term, for many of our clients, they will continue to receive their therapy over Telehealth.
For some clients, though, despite everyone’s best efforts, Telehealth just isn’t suitable. In cases where a client’s ability to receive psychological treatment is compromised if their only option is Telehealth, the DHHS has let us know that these clients can now be offered appointments in the clinics. As this will take some preparation, we are letting our clients know that as of the 1st of March 2021, some clinicians will be offering some appointments face-to-face in both our Werribee and Belmont offices.
This doesn’t mean that we’re going to be offering face-to-face appointments to all clients, though!
What it does mean is that if a client’s ability to receive treatment is compromised by one of the following factors, they may be offered a face-to-face appointment by their clinician:
Unfortunately due to limitations on the number of people in the rooms at any given time, each clinician will have a very limited number of face to face sessions that can be offered each week, so where-ever and whenever possible, Teletherapy will remain our number one way of providing therapy throughout our COVID normal plan. This means that even if one session is held face-to-face, the next session may be held over Telehealth should any factors change.
We do note that as we approach the cold and ‘flu cold season in Victoria, we all need to be vigilant and continue to work hard to protect ourselves and each other. This means that, even if you’ve been offered a face-to-face appointment, you may not come to the rooms if:
Your clinician may also need to switch your session back to Telehealth at the last minute should they or somebody in their household become ill.
We encourage you to have a chat to your clinician about whether they’re planning to return to some face-to-face work, and if so, whether you or your child might be eligible for sessions in the clinic.
Take care everyone!
Laura Park, Practice Manager
Medicare is a fantastic thing and I’m so grateful to live in a country where there is assistance for healthcare costs, however, when it comes to accessing mental health treatment, it can be pretty confusing to begin with - Are there bulk billing services? Do I need a referral? What about the sessions my doctor talked about? This is a whole new world for most people!
So let me fill you in.
My doctor said I’d get free sessions...
Some clients have come to us saying that their doctor advised that their referral will allow them to access free sessions, but that is not the case for most private practices. The bulk billed rate is less than half the fee recommended by the Australian Psychology Society to see a psychologist in private practice. At Hopscotch and Harmony, we receive no government subsidies so we just couldn’t keep our doors open if we bulk billed.
I just can’t afford any out of pocket costs ...
I hear you - everyone’s financial circumstances are different and having to choose between utility bills and therapy is a real situation for many people. There are some services where bulk billed sessions are available - Headspace is one we often refer to for clients who are unable to afford any out of pocket expenses, where the client is between the ages of 12 and 25 years. Schools can also be a place to access these services so it is worth checking with your school to see what is available if finances are a barrier to accessing treatment. There are other low-to-no cost services that can be found via a Google search - “low-to-no cost psychology services, Victoria, Australia”.
So what will Medicare give me?
Hopscotch and Harmony clients can access rebates through Medicare if their doctor or paediatrician has completed a Mental Health Treatment Plan for them and they have a referral letter to see a psychologist. This referral letter should state how many sessions the doctor wants you to attend. When seeing a psychologist with general registration, this entitles the client to up to twenty rebated sessions per calendar year (recently increased from 10 sessions!). The client pays for the appointment and then the rebate (around $90) can be claimed after the session is complete. This can easily be done online through the MyGov app.
What if I need more sessions?
Here at Hopscotch and Harmony, we know that ongoing need for sessions is variable and the number of sessions our clinicians recommend to you will be based on your presenting needs and treatment plan.
Research shows that clients are more successful in reaching their therapy goals and make lasting changes after attending at least 18 sessions with their therapist. But we recognise that every situation is different. You may need more, you may need less.
If you require more sessions after exhausting your 20 Medicare rebated sessions for the year, you may have Private Health Insurance cover that you could use, or you may pay the full fee for a few sessions until January rolls around and you can access another 20 Medicare rebatable sessions.
We would love nothing more than if there were fully subsidised sessions for all who need them, when they need them, but unfortunately that is not the world we’re living in.
At Hopscotch and Harmony we pride ourselves in providing a quality service at below industry standard pricing (the Australian Psychological Society recommend a minimum hourly rate of $253) and in doing everything we can to ensure that our clients receive maximum value for the investment they make in their mental health.
With the ever-rising COVID-19 pandemic case numbers across Victoria, it’s more important than ever that we all take steps to protect ourselves and the larger community from the spread of this virus, as well as other colds, coughs, and ‘flus that can be common at this time of the year.
You, as the client, need to feel empowered to take the steps that keep you and your family safe.
Hopscotch and Harmony are committed to helping you do this by moving 100% to Telehealth across both the Geelong and Melbourne practices while we are in Stage 3 or 4 restrictions.
Telehealth services will continue until the COVID-19 situation stabilises. Unfortunately, as we know, this is taking a lot longer than any of us had thought or hoped for!
New to Telehealth services?
We sometimes hear concerns from parents that they do not think their child will be able to engage in therapy over Telehealth. It might reassure you to know that Telehealth is an evidence based way of providing services to members of the community.
If you are considering Telehealth services but think your child might struggle, please remember that we can offer an array of options:
Telehealth often gives clinicians and children an unusual opportunity of being able to work within the child client’s own space, within their comfort zone, and on issues that commonly impact them at home.
One common concern that parents can have is that their children struggled (or are struggling with) remote learning. This can sometimes lead parents to believe that their child will also struggle with Telehealth sessions, or that they won’t get much out of them.
It’s really important to remember that your child’s sessions with a therapist should look and feel VERY different to school lessons, and your child’s clinician has a range of options to make your child’s session engaging, fun, and helpful. It’s also really important to remember that even where attended face to face, sessions in the clinic don’t look or feel like ‘normal’ (i.e. pre-COVID) appointments at the moment!
Masks, eye protection, physical distancing requirements, hand sanitising, lack of wait rooms, and the necessity to clean and sanitise all rooms, toys, and therapeutic tools between clients mean that our sessions would look very different to what our regular in-clinic sessions are like. In fact, Telehealth often gives the clinician and your child MORE freedom and ease with which to connect and work together.
What if Telehealth isn’t right for me or my child?
For the vast majority of clients, Telehealth services will be an appropriate therapeutic modality.
If, in the rare instance, your child’s presentation means that Telehealth services are just not right for them, it may mean waiting until Stage 3 and 4 restrictions are behind us. Unfortunately due to a very high demand of clients currently requesting Telehealth appointments we are unable to reserve your spot and there may be a wait when you are ready to return.
At present, Medicare will continue to offer a rebate for Telehealth sessions until the end of September 2020. Should this change and affect your rebates for Telehealth, we will be in touch to discuss.
Whilst we hope to see you back in the office sooner rather than later, this may take longer than any of us had wished for. In the meantime, please consider Telehealth services as an evidence based alternative to face-to-face appointments to protect you, your family, your clinician, and the community at large.
Stay safe and warm and we look forward to seeing you soon!
Laura Park, Practice Manager
The COVID-19 Pandemic has seen us all wrestling with changes to the way we live our lives and how we connect in our communities. We have all had to adapt quickly to rules and restrictions quite beyond our control. Many families are juggling reduction or loss of employment with the added pressure of kids learning from home.
It is hardly surprising that these circumstances have resulted in additional stress and anxiety levels, and an increased need for psychological support.
We are grateful that the Government have acknowledged the need for this additional support and have announced measures to ensure that people can continue to access rebated sessions with their psychologist beyond the existing ten rebated sessions through the Better Access to Mental Health Scheme.
As of Friday 7 August, clients who have already accessed ten rebated psychology sessions after completing a Mental Health Treatment Plan with their GP and receiving a referral to Hopscotch and Harmony can return to their doctor to request a review and a re-referral for an additional ten rebated sessions. This will help our clients to continue to work towards their therapy goals with that financial assistance from Medicare.
What do you need to do to make this happen?
If you currently have a Mental Health Treatment Plan (MHTP)
If you have already exhausted your ten rebated sessions for 2020
At Hopscotch and Harmony we are committed to supporting our clients to reach their therapy goals and to emerge from this most unusual time with increased resilience, insight and skills to thrive in the next chapter of their lives!
If you would like to book an appointment please click here
**Enjoy this guest post from friend of the practice, Charlie. We came across this piece when Charlie's mother shared it in a homeschooling Facebook group. Charlie accepted our invitation for this to be published on our Hopscotch & Harmony Blog because we knew how helpful it would be to other children and parents. Thank you Charlie!
Hello, I'm Charlie.
I started homeschooling at the beginning of year 6 in 2020. I will admit that sometimes when it comes to schoolwork I can behave in ways that some people might call “defiant” and “stubborn”. I want to help other families find a way to have a happy and fun time homeschooling, so I'm writing this to help other people even though I don't love writing.
I'm going to talk about possible reasons for defiance now (these are from my experience and are not 100% going to apply to all children). Most of the time I don’t know what triggers me to become defiant in the first place. But later, when I can think about it I realise I was anxious. I don't always know the reason for me being anxious. But sometimes I do, for example–
So, we have looked at some things that caused me to behave in ways that some people would call “defiance”. Here are some solutions to try which I think might work. Once again these are not 100% going to accommodate every child's needs, but they helped me.
If I can help one family homeschool more happily, this will make all this writing worth it!