Eating disorders are a serious mental illness that affect many individuals of all ages, but they are especially prevalent and dangerous among teenagers. Research shows that 75% of people diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa and 83% of people diagnosed with Bulimia Nervosa are between 12 and 25 years of age.* The outcomes of an eating disorder can cause serious harm. 

There are several types of eating disorders, but some of the most common are anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder.

Below is a brief overview of each disorder and some common warning signs:

• Anorexia nervosa: This is an eating disorder characterised by an intense fear of gaining weight, a distorted body image, and severely restricted food intake. Some common warning signs of anorexia nervosa include:
  • Rapid weight loss or being underweight
  • Obsessive calorie counting or food weighing
  • Refusal to eat certain foods or food groups
  • Excessive exercising
  • Preoccupation with body weight and shape
  • Social withdrawal and isolation
  • Low self-esteem

 

• Bulimia nervosa: This eating disorder is characterised by recurrent episodes of binge eating (consuming a large amount of food in a short period of time) followed by compensatory behaviors such as self-induced vomiting, laxative abuse, or excessive exercise. Some common warning signs of bulimia nervosa include:
  • Fluctuations in weight
  • Evidence of binge eating, such as large amounts of food missing
  • Evidence of purging behaviours, such as frequent trips to the bathroom after meals
  • Use of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas
  • Preoccupation with body weight and shape
  • Dental problems (from frequent vomiting)
  • Sore throat or swollen glands

 

• Binge eating disorder: This eating disorder is characterised by recurrent episodes of binge eating without compensatory behaviours. Some common warning signs of binge eating disorder include:
  • Eating rapidly during binge episodes
  • Eating until uncomfortably full or even in pain
  • Feeling a lack of control over eating during binge episodes
  • Eating alone or in secret due to shame or embarrassment
  • Feelings of guilt, shame, or disgust after binge episodes
  • Depression or anxiety

*Volpe, U., Tortorella, A., Manchia, M., Monteleone, A.M., Albert, U., & Monteleone, P. (2016). Eating disorders: What age at onset? Psychiatry Research. April. 225-227. 

If you or your child are struggling with any of these warning signs, you might be feeling worried and unsure of what to do. Remember that you are not alone and there is support to guide you through this tricky time.

Visit your GP to start your journey to eating disorder management and recovery, and then book an appointment with one of our psychologists or dietitians for therapy. 

Ceren Celebi. Provisional Psychologist

Liz Greig. Provisional Psychologist

2. Instagram 
Instagram is a social media app created in 2010 as a way for users to post photos and videos, follow popular accounts and friends, and send private messages. Users can create and follow hashtags, join groups and communities, and share content through Instagram Stories and Reels. Instagram also offers features like Instagram Live, which allows users to broadcast live video to their followers, and Instagram Shopping, which enables users to shop directly from the app. The minimum age requirement to create an Instagram account is 13 years, however, like many social media apps there is no age verification process that eliminates people under 13 years from downloading and using the app. The type of content your teen might be seeing on Instagram varies depending on their personal preference and the accounts they follow. Some teens might be seeing content posted by friends, influences and/or meme accounts (accounts that focus on making funny, amusing content). Instagram does have a ‘sensitive content control’ setting, that allows users to choose how much potentially upsetting or offensive content they might see from accounts they do or don’t follow. Parents can also get updates about who their children are following, followed by and can set usage limits. It is important to note that Instagram accounts are made public by default, so if you would prefer your child's account to be private, they’re going to have to turn the privacy settings on manually. The following link (Parents’ ultimate guide to Instagram) is a helpful resource to find out more about how Instagram works and its potential risks and benefits. https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/parents-ultimate-guide-to-instagram ​

3. Snapchat 
Snapchat was created in 2011 as a way to share photos privately between two people. Now it can be used for a range of purposes, including sending videos, live video chatting, messaging, and sharing a ‘story’ that is broadcasted to all your friends. Other features include the ability to share your live location on a world map. Photos, videos, and messages sent through snapchat will disappear after they’re opened or after a default period of time (e.g., 24 hours). 13 years is the minimum age required to sign up for snapchat, however there is no age verification process currently in place when creating an account. Snapchat does have some parental controls through the privacy settings that allows parents to monitor their child’s snapchat activity. The following link (Is Snapchat Safe for Kids? A Parents’ Guide to Snapchat) can be used to find out more information about Snapchat, its features and how to turn on parental controls. https://www.avast.com/c-is-snapchat-safe-for-kids#:~:text=Age%2013%20is%20the%20minimum,to%20a%20global%20Spotlight%20video. ​

4. YouTube 
YouTube is a popular video-sharing platform that allows users to upload, watch, and share videos. It was founded in 2005 and is now one of the most popular websites in the world, with over 2 billion monthly active users. The platform offers a wide variety of content, including educational videos, music videos, tutorials, vlogs, and more. Users can subscribe to channels to keep up-to-date with their favorite content creators, and can also create their own channels to share their own videos. YouTube offers a number of features to enhance the user experience, including comments, likes, and dislikes, playlists, and personalized recommendations. Youtube has implemented some safety features to help protect teen users, including age restrictionds on certian vidoes and content, community guidelines (helps prohibit content that includes hate speech, harrassment or violence), comment moderation, and family link (parental controls). ​

Tamsyn White. Principal Psychologist

Just like an iceberg, when it comes to behaviour, there's so much more going on beneath the surface.

If we only pay attention to what we see, then we're not considering the full picture.

You can't deeply understand an individual action without exploring at least some of those
things that are rumbling below the surface. In fact, what goes on underneath is what gives rise
to the behaviour that you see.

Important motivators of the behaviour of young children include their needs and their feelings.

What we don't see that influences behaviour includes things like a child's individual temperament, their emotions at the time, different sensory needs such as lighting and sound sensitivities, developmental capacity and limits, past experience that they bring into the moment, thoughts, internal sensations, executive functioning challenges that can affect planning, impulsivity, memory, physiological needs.

All of these things we don’t see, are going to give rise to what we are actually seeing above the surface.

When you start to feel challenged or frustrated by your child's behaviours, take some time to consider things on a deeper level. What could be going on below the surface?

Our online Parenting Program explores child behaviour at great length with many strategies for you to use to navigate challenging parenting situations

Are you feeling physically and emotionally drained? Do you find yourself disconnecting from family or friends? You may notice yourself increasingly needing to take time off work, or lacking the motivation to complete routine tasks. 

Sound familiar? If so, you may be experiencing burnout. Burnout is about feeling not enough. It is about feeling empty, devoid of motivation, and beyond caring.

Here are some ways to prevent feeling burnt out…

1. Be aware of what you can and cannot control, and focus on problem solving the things you can control
Put things into perspective! We often feel demotivated and deflated when things don’t go to plan, however it’s important to remember that we don’t have control over absolutely everything. We may encounter obstacles that were unforeseen and unavoidable. Life happens. Focus on problem solving the things you can influence, and you will feel more accomplished. 

2. Simplify your day, and know your limits
Ask for help and learn how to say “no”... and mean it! We can’t do everything for everyone, despite what we think! It is important to maintain boundaries with family, friends and/or colleagues. Sometimes you just need to switch off. You can't be available to everyone at all times!

3. Write a to-do list
It is important to start each day with a purpose.  Each evening, list three tasks that you will aim to complete during the course of the following day. Checking off tasks each day is one of the best ways to feel accomplished and satisfied. 

4. Practice mindfulness
It is important to take time out of your day to give yourself the chance to ground yourself and come back to the present moment. It's important to routinely take time out to breathe and re-centre. Regular practice will help you feel more in control and be better able to make good decisions. 

5. Remember to schedule self care into your week
I’m sure you’ve heard it all before, but really, how often you you deliberately schedule in self care to your routine? I’m sure like many, we have good intentions to carve out time for ourselves, but we let other priorities often get in the way. You are doing a disservice to your loved ones by not looking after yourself! Keep it simple...exercise regularly, maintain a well balanced diet, start a new hobby, learn an instrument, keep up with social connections, the options are endless!

If this is sounding all too familiar are you are wanting some extra support, please book in an appointment with one of our clinicians

Alyce Galea. Psychologist

Hilary Sanders, Psychologist

Being a teen can be tough! We all remember what that was like, right? Your hormones are racing, your body is changing, you're figuring who you are, and who you want to be. You want to be unique yet at the same time fit in. Impress your friends, your parents, your teachers, and your "crush". Then throw in the everyday stress of school, home life, increasing demands, and societal pressure.

Now, imagine on top of all of this, you are also questioning your sexuality.

You've noticed you are not attracted to the opposite sex in the same way as your peers. Maybe you're not attracted to the opposite sex at all. Or both. Or neither. Given attraction to the opposite sex tends to be more common (emphasis on the word common here- do not mistake this to mean "more normal"), you might feel isolated, confused, ashamed, and fear rejection if you feel anything outside of this. Especially during adolescence, when social acceptance and a sense of belonging take priority.

The enduring or evolving pattern of one's sexual and romantic attraction to a particular sex is referred to as sexual orientation (or sexual identity). It is important to understand that commonly used categories of sexual orientation (heterosexual/straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual) do not rigidly apply to everyone. Sexual orientation exists on a spectrum, and is unique to the individual. Yes, it all sounds a bit complex, however the conversations you have with your teen don't need to be.

Many parents feel conflicted about what to do. What should I say? What if I say the wrong thing? How do I approach my teen, if at all?

How we approach sexuality can have a lasting impact on the emotional wellbeing of our kids, so it makes sense to reflect and think about it. And it’s never too soon, or too late, to begin the conversation.

Here are some key points to consider when talking with teens about sexual orientation:

1. Don't assume that you "know". Remember, sexuality is unique to the individual. Seek to understand your teen's experience, rather than assuming you know based on your observations of their interests, peer group, or how they dress and behave.
2. Do your research, but learn from your child. Knowing and understanding LGBTIQA+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer, Asexual) terminology can be helpful, but it is not as simple as assigning a "label". Not everyone personally connects with these terms. Notice the language your child uses, and use their words. Be aware that their language may change over time- roll with it!
3. Thank them for sharing. A fear of rejection can motivate kids to keep quiet about their sexual orientation. The sheer fact that they have opened up to you is a good sign that they feel safe and trust you. Affirm this! For example: "Thank you for sharing something so personal with me. It means a lot to know that you trust me".
4. When in doubt, talk it out! Again, don't assume you know what your teen wants. Ask what they do or don't feel comfortable sharing, and what they would find helpful from you. Establishing expectations and boundaries together can take out the stress of "guess work", trying to figure out what each other wants. Then you both know where you stand, and what you expect/need from one another. Check-in every once in a while to ensure these factors still stand.
5. Remember it is not always about what is said, but what is NOT being said. Avoiding a conversation about sexuality or changing the subject if it arises, even for good intentions (i.e. you assume they don’t want to talk about it), can send a message that it must be hidden, which can feed a sense of shame. Further, one conversation about sexuality is not enough; it is an ongoing, evolving conversation. Take an interest, and remain approachable.
6. Don't expect to get it "right" every time. Talking about sexuality with your teen might feel awkward, confronting, and might conflict with your beliefs. You might fumble. You might say or ask something that they disagree with. It’s OK. As long as you come from a place of love, respect, and non-judgment the rest will work itself out!
7. Respect your teen’s privacy. Seek their permission before you choose to share their sexuality with others.
8. All this talk about sexuality… Don’t forget the other stuff! Sexuality is only one part of a person. Your teen has so many other aspects that make up who they are- embrace their strengths, interests, passions, talents, as well as their fears and insecurities… celebrate everything that makes them who they are.
9. Do they need extra support? Support from loved ones is essential for your child’s mental and emotional health. Ask if they have others they can trust and confide in… friends, family, a teacher, etc. Encourage help-seeking behaviour, and assist with referrals to a health professional (such as a counsellor, psychologist) if they require extra support.  
10. Don't forget support for yourself! If you are finding it difficult to be approachable and accepting, seek the support of a professional. There is an abundance of information online and services to help guide you.

Additional resources…
- Switchboard (Victoria): http://www.switchboard.org.au/
- Q Life: https://qlife.org.au/
- Kids Helpline: https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/
- Headspace: https://headspace.org.au/friends-and-family/

As school and work begins for another year, so does the daily ritual of inquiring about our loved one’s day. Children and adults alike give the customary, ‘good’ and the conversation halts before it ever gained any momentum. We can do better!

Here are 7 new questions to ask to avoid that dreaded loop.
 
1. What went well today? 
This question is promotes reflection on our strengths and generates gratitude. To take this further ask the question three times over and follow it with the question, ‘Why did it go well?’.
 
2. Who helped you today?
Encourage your child to identify and reflect on their social supports

3. Who did you help today? 
These questions create a sense of community and connection with peers. For parents, these questions may be helpful in identifying the positive relationships in your child’s life that you can encourage to grow.
 
4. What are you learning at the moment?

5. What are you working on at the moment?

6. What did you find challenging today?
 
All of the above are open-ended questions. Unlike closed questions - such as ‘How was your day?’, or, ‘Did you have a good day?’ -  these open-ended questions are difficult to answer with just one word. 
 
7. What would your teacher/boss say about you?  
Another way of disrupting the default reaction to label our day with basic adjectives is by changing the perspective. Stepping outside ourselves provides this circuit breaker and prompts a deeper level of insight that can get us thinking and communicating. 

Jessica Cleary, Psychologist

How did your kids go at the beginning of the new school year? If you do kinder or school drop-off you will have noticed some kids take the new challenge in their stride, whereas others have a much harder time with the transition and separation from their parents. 
 
Maybe you found yourself with a little one who was crying and clinging and begging you not to leave. I feel for you if this was the case – it’s so hard! Or maybe your child complained of tummy-aches or headaches before leaving home. This is a common symptom of anxiety.
 
It’s fairly common for some kids to have troubles adjusting to school. Although there is no magic solution when supporting your child through separation anxiety, here are some ideas for you:
 
Find a friend
It helps immensely when kids have a friend at school. Ask the teacher who your child seems to play with the most and introduce yourself to the parent at either drop off or pick up. Arrange a play date over at your house or a park to help nurture that relationship.

Talk about it ahead of time
If you know that tomorrow is likely to be another morning of tears and clingy behaviour then talk about it today when you are both feeling calm and relaxed. When children fear something, they need the opportunity to express and feel their feelings. Some of their worries or concerns may seem small or insignificant to us, but for them they are very real and should be believed and respected. It is important to acknowledge that the feeling of worry is very real for your child. After you've validated their feelings, then gently move to problem solving. Remind them of the fun parts of the day like playing with a friend or lunchtime (if this is fun for them). Remind them that after a little bit of upset they were able to enjoy the school day and they got to do new and exciting things. Let them know that you will ALWAYS come back at the end of the day to pick them up (or make sure they know the plan if there is after-school care).

Team up with the teacher
Work in partnership with the teacher. Experienced teachers have been through this before so are likely to have a few good ideas. If the separation anxiety doesn’t ease after a few days the teacher may be able to give your child a special job to do immediately upon getting to school. This will serve as a transition activity and is something for him to look forward to. Get to school early so the teacher can personally greet your child and take him to the activity. 

Don’t focus on the separation
On the way to school talk about the first thing your child will do once they get in the classroom. It shifts the focus from the separation to the enjoyable activity. This helps them mentally prepare before they are physically at school. They start to visualise the inside of the classroom and can start to get used to the idea of being there. Something like this: “When you go to the reading corner, what book are you going to read first?” or “Which colouring in page will you choose when you get there – the train or the castle?”. Or if you have an arrangement with the teacher (see previous tip) you can talk about this with enthusiasm.

Don’t talk about ‘school’
At home in the morning, don’t talk about ‘school’ too much. Talk about ‘reading time’ and ‘drawing’ and 'play time’. Talk about that first activity that he will be doing with the teacher (if you have one planned). The word ‘school’ may currently have a negative, anxiety provoking association for your child so minimise using that work might help if this is the case. Instead talk about the activities they will be doing at school that you know they enjoy. This makes the idea of school more concrete and less abstract. 

Transitional objects
A special note from you kept in their pocket, or matching love hearts drawn on their hand your hand can help your child feel connected to you during time apart. 

Other issues
Sometimes separation anxiety occurs in the context of more generalised anxiety or trauma. Maybe there is a real problem at school that is causing distress. Listen carefully to your child and do a little detective work if you sense there is more to the story. Could it be that they don't know how to ask to go to the toilet? Or they are being bullied? Do they find it hard navigating the school grounds at recess? Listen carefully and get more information from the teacher to help you work out what the underlying problem may be.

When to seek professional support
Often patience and using the above tips can ease separation anxiety. However, there are times when it is necessary to reach out for additional support. You may need further help if:

• The anxiety interferes with your child’s life and subsequently your life
• There are frequent complaints of stomachaches or headaches
• The severity of the anxiety is inappropriate for your child’s developmental level 
• The symptoms haven’t settled after about four weeks.
• Your child has an excessive fear of leaving the house

A child psychologist can teach you how to help your child with coping strategies and work with you to alleviate the anxiety. Sometimes one or two parent consultations are enough to learn strategies to address your child’s separation anxiety. Other times the psychologist may suggest working individually with your child as well as with you.
 
Finally
Remember, your child isn’t trying to manipulate you in order to stay home. The feelings are real for your child and quite distressing. Although you may not always be able to prevent the separation anxiety, you can always empathise with your child and connect with them with cuddles and snuggles at the end of the day.

You wouldn’t be the first parent to cry on your way to work after holding it together at school drop-off. This experience is so very stressful for parents. Look after yourself to help manage your own stress. Sleep (if you're at a a stage of parenting where that's possible!) and eat well and talk to a trusted friend who will listen and support you. Taking care of yourself and allowing yourself your own emotional release will help keep you centred and more emotionally available for your child. 

Jessica Cleary. Director & Psychologist

Many people tend to find it difficult to differentiate between fear, anxiety and stress. Although all experiences are quite normal, it is important to know the difference so you can seek the most appropriate support if necessary.

Here are a few defining features of the three experiences:  

• Fear: the emotion you experience when you are actually in a dangerous situation. 
• Stress: your body’s response to a specific trigger or stressor. It is often characterised by a sense of feeling overwhelmed. The body’s reaction is generally short term and temporary.
• Anxiety: an emotional response to a perceived threat. It is a sense of dread that something terrible is going to happen

Fear and stress:

• is normal and everyone experiences it at times 
• is not dangerous. It may feel uncomfortable, it doesn’t last long and is temporary 

​
​Anxiety: 

• is adaptive. It helps us prepare for real danger or for performing at our best 
• can become a problem when our body reacts as if it is in danger where there are no real threats 

There are three components that contribute to feeling anxious:

1. Thoughts (what we say to ourselves) 
2. Physical feelings (how our bodies respond) 
3. Behaviours (what we do/our actions) 

 
We have fear and anxiety in non life-threatening situations because of the way we interpret the situation. 

If you are struggling with fear, stress or anxiety and are needing some support, please contact the clinic to book in an appointment with one of our psychologists

Alyce Galea, Psychologist

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify, use, understand and manage emotions in a positive way to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathise with others, overcome challenges and diffuse conflict. 

Emotional intelligence impacts many different aspects of your daily life, such as the way you behave and the way you interact with others. 

If you have a high emotional intelligence you are able to recognise your own emotional state and the emotional states of others and engage with people in a way that draws them to you.  

You can use this understanding of emotions to relate better to other people, form healthier relationships, achieve greater success at school, and lead a more fulfilling life.  ​

Emotional intelligence consists of four attributes:  

• Self-awareness – You recognise your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behaviour, know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.  

• Self-management – You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviours, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.  
• Social awareness – You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group.  
• Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict. 

 
Book an appointment with one of our psychologists to learn ways to improve yours or your child's emotional intelligence

This time of year means different things for different people. It can be a time where families come together, a time when we are reminded of what might have been, a time of joy or a time of sadness. Emotions are heightened and stress levels can be high.

When our stress levels are running high it doesn’t take much to send us over the edge and get fired up about things that wouldn’t normally bother us..  

To keep the rising stress at bay, here are 6 ways to reduce the Chirstmas chaos overwhelm.

1. Find small pockets of time to take deep breaths. As simple as it sounds, remember to breathe. When you are doing routine things such as washing your hands, waiting for the kettle to boil or doing a few dishes, make this your time to breathe deeply. Deep breathing triggers our parasympathetic nervous system, offsets stress and elicits a calming feeling.
2. Enjoy the moment. Even the most stressful of days offers moments where everything is OK – you just have to remember to notice them. And when you do, slow down and appreciate it. Sip your coffee and watch the world around you for a few minutes. Stop meal preparation and watch the kids play for two minutes. Soak in the ‘now’ without thought of the future or the past. Savour the experience.
3. Move your body. Go for a walk, stretch, dance in the kitchen, play wrestle with the kids - it doesn’t matter what it is – just move! Research tells us that even five minutes of high-intensity exercise can stimulate anti-anxiety effects in the body.  
4. Pause before responding. When our buttons are pushed it can trigger us to react in a certain way. If our baseline stress levels are already high then an incident like the kids fighting over who got the biggest biscuit may just push you over the edge. For some, this may lead to yelling and for others it may be to grab those biscuits and throw them in the bin. Instead of your ‘default’ reaction being triggered in times of stress, pause and consciously choose how you will respond to the situation.  Give yourself 5 seconds to take a deep breath, let the wave of stress/anger/frustration wash over you and then respond.
5. Do something fun. It’s too easy to forget about having fun when we are overloaded with things that MUST GET DONE. But if we wait for times when there isn’t anything to do, we may be waiting until all the kids have left home. Ask yourself, what is the worst thing that could happen if I don’t sweep this floor now? If I don’t send that email now? If I don’t get that washing on now? If no one is going to die, then you can probably leave it for 10 minutes. Play a game of cards, kick a ball around outside, do a crossword, tell each other jokes from a joke book – whatever is fun for you.  
6. Be kind to yourself. For many parents this time of year is very stressful. Schedules are full of end of year concerts, parties and get togethers, and there is little down time. Parents and students alike can be cranky and tired, more than ready for the summer break to unwind and recharge. So don’t expect yourself to be perfect. Acknowledge this to yourself, do what you can and accept what you can’t.

 
The beauty about these ideas is that you can start immediately. They are simple and if you can introduce a couple of them to your days, you are sure to notice a difference in the way you feel.    ​

Alyce Galea, Psychologist

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence based approach that is very commonly used at our practice. 
​
The core principles of ACT are:

• Becoming more aware of the time, energy and effort spent on avoiding discomfort and difficult thoughts and feelings
• Understanding that thoughts are just thoughts. We can choose how to interact with our thoughts so that they do not have power over us
• Learning to be more open and willing to accept that these thoughts, feelings, memories or urges are appropriate responses to certain situations. 
• Learning not to let difficult thoughts or feelings prevent you from doing the things you want to be doing in life and being the person you want to be. 
  
  

The use of metaphors is an integral part of ACT. 
The “Passengers on the Bus” metaphor, and it’s variations, is a popular and effective way to gain new perspective on the impacts of “giving in” to your unhelpful thoughts and discomfort. 

This video is a play on the metaphor and describes your life journey as a plane ride.

It’s almost inevitable to have an argument or disagreement with a friend or partner. 

Here are some tips for healthy conflict resolution:
​ 

• Stay Calm- We rarely do our best when upset and angry. Our anger may cause the other person to get defensive or hurtful. 

​

• Choose a Good Time and Place for Conflict Resolution- Find a place free from interruptions and have plenty of time so no one feels rushed or at a disadvantage. 

​

• Focus on the Problem- Don't focus on the person you are in conflict with. Avoid blaming, name calling and putdowns. Be respectful and accept responsibility for your share of the conflict.  

​

• Truly Listen to the Other Side- This may be the last thing you want to do since you may feel upset or offended. But really listening carefully (without thinking of your response) is the most important tip for successful conflict resolution. 

​

• Explore Resolutions- Let everyone offer as many resolutions as possible, with neither side evaluating the suggestions offered. Once all possibilities are on the table then everyone can face the “problem(s)” together, reviewing the ideas you’ve generated and evaluating their usefulness. “Team up” on the problem, not each other.  

​

• Commit to the Resolution- If parties agree on a resolution to the conflict, commit yourself to the resolution. Know full well that it will take some time and there WILL be setbacks. Set backs are part of the process. 

​

• Still Unresolved? Be honest with yourself. Do you really want to resolve the conflict or does it just seem that way? It may be that the conflict is really serving another purpose. 

​​

• DON'T GIVE UP! Build on the cooperation you’ve established in the first effort. Agree to a time-out and a place to try again. Go back to step one, acknowledge that while a solution may not have been found, tension has been reduced and you are communicating. 

Book in with one of our psychologists for further support 

Alyce Galea, Psychologist

Alyce Galea, Psychologist

Emotions such as fear, anger, grief and many others can negatively affect us long after the original event that caused them.

When our body fails to “let go” of these emotions we can find ourselves with unexplained hatred, self-sabotaging behaviours, destructive beliefs, phobias and many chronic physical problems. 

Why Do People Bottle Up Their Emotions? 

• They are unable to fight back in an argument situation  
• ​They think that if they show their emotions it is a sign of weakness. 
• They believe it is not normal to be feeling a certain way, so try to conceal their emotions from others. 
• ​They are afraid of what other people might think. 
• They feel that they have to deal with their emotions or problems on their own because "no one else will understand". 
• ​They feel they have to be "the rock" for others. 

What Happens When You Pent Up Your Emotions 

• You can become crabby to be around & start snapping at other people for no reason. 
• ​You get to a stage where you have bottled up your emotions to the point you "explode" - often the victims are loved ones, friends.  
• You start feeling low and numb and don't know how to get out of the situation. 
• ​You can start to feel physically unwell  

 
Ways to release bottled up emotions 

• Write: keeping a diary is a great tool to “vent” and put all your feelings onto paper 
• Music: write a song or simply listen to music that helps calm you

• Talk to someone: open up to a friend, relative, teacher that you trust 
• Get active: find a sport or activity that you can do to release tension. 
• Cry: Don’t be afraid to cry once in a while. It’s a healthy ritual! 

​Book an appointment with one of our friendly psychologists for more support​

Alyce Galea, Psychologist