8 Tips for resolving conflict

It’s almost inevitable to have an argument or disagreement with a friend or partner. 

Here are some tips for healthy conflict resolution:
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• Stay Calm- We rarely do our best when upset and angry. Our anger may cause the other person to get defensive or hurtful. 

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• Choose a Good Time and Place for Conflict Resolution- Find a place free from interruptions and have plenty of time so no one feels rushed or at a disadvantage. 

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• Focus on the Problem- Don't focus on the person you are in conflict with. Avoid blaming, name calling and putdowns. Be respectful and accept responsibility for your share of the conflict.  

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• Truly Listen to the Other Side- This may be the last thing you want to do since you may feel upset or offended. But really listening carefully (without thinking of your response) is the most important tip for successful conflict resolution. 

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• Explore Resolutions- Let everyone offer as many resolutions as possible, with neither side evaluating the suggestions offered. Once all possibilities are on the table then everyone can face the “problem(s)” together, reviewing the ideas you’ve generated and evaluating their usefulness. “Team up” on the problem, not each other.  

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• Commit to the Resolution- If parties agree on a resolution to the conflict, commit yourself to the resolution. Know full well that it will take some time and there WILL be setbacks. Set backs are part of the process. 

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• Still Unresolved? Be honest with yourself. Do you really want to resolve the conflict or does it just seem that way? It may be that the conflict is really serving another purpose. 

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• DON'T GIVE UP! Build on the cooperation you’ve established in the first effort. Agree to a time-out and a place to try again. Go back to step one, acknowledge that while a solution may not have been found, tension has been reduced and you are communicating. 

Book in with one of our psychologists for further support 

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