Hopscotch & Harmony
  • About us
    • Meet Our Team
    • Our Story
    • How We Are Doing
  • Clinic Services
    • Mental Health Services >
      • Child & Adolescent Counselling
      • Adult Counselling
      • Online Therapy
      • Study Without Stress Program: Yr 10-12
    • Relationship Counselling
    • Assessment Clinic >
      • Cognitive Assessments
      • Educational Assessments
      • Autism Assessments
    • Dietetics & Nutrition >
      • Teen & Adult Dietetic & Nutrition Clinic
      • Paediatric Dietetics & Nutrition
      • Feeding Clinic
    • Problem Solving Session
    • Organisational Wellness
  • Parent & Professional Learning
    • Webinars for Parents
    • Child Behaviour Course
    • Early Childhood & Schools
    • Clinical Supervision
  • Join our team
  • Blog
  • Contact
    • New Clients
    • What to Expect

Monsters lurking in the dark: Supporting your child through nighttime fears

8/9/2015

 
Picture
Are nighttime fears and nightmares preventing your child from getting to sleep?
Nighttime fears are common in young children and can result in frustrated and exhausted parents. Sound familiar? How can we help our children overcome their fears and to fall asleep peacefully? 

Points to consider:
  • Does your child know the difference between make-believe and reality? Nighttime fears occur more in children who have trouble with this distinction.
  • How much stress does your child experience during the day? The greater the daytime stress the more likely there will be nighttime fears. If this is the case then it might be best to combat the daytime stress first which may solve the nighttime problems.
  • Are you sending your child to bed at the right time? If you overestimate the amount of sleep that is needed and send the kids to bed too early they have more time to lay awake and dwell on their fears. We are more likely to overreact to emotional stimuli at the end of the day due to the brain’s amygdala, which plays a key role in processing emotions, being overactive.
  • Although you may be tired and frustrated, try your best to remain calm and patient as this will help your child most. 
  • Reassurance is probably not going to work. Your child may know that monsters aren’t real but feel scared anyway. Stating that it’s all ok and there’s nothing to be worried about is probably going to leave the child feeling as though you just don’t get it, which can lead to more distress. What the child needs is a strategy to cope with the scared feelings. 
  • As a parent I know how hard it is to see our children hurting and the intense need to take that hurt away.  It’s easy to do a quick look under the bed and in the wardrobe to check that there are no monsters. Although that may eliminate the immediate fear you have missed a key learning opportunity to help your child adapt and self-manage feelings of fear. So how do you do this?
  1. Focus on the feeling. I suggest you don’t focus on the object of the fear (e.g., monsters or robbers) but the emotion of fear itself. Then focus on helping solve the problem by brainstorming ideas that will make the child feel better. 
  2. Validate the emotion.  Although it may seem silly and trivial to you, dismissing the fear as “nothing to worry about” can result in the child feeling shame. What to say instead? You could try “You’re feeling pretty scared right now, aren’t you?”. You might notice that your child instantly comes down a notch from their heightened emotional state. 
  3. Share a little of your past experience. “I remember feeling scared of the dark when I was your age. It’s not a nice feeling is it?”. This can help the child feel supported and demonstrates that you understand what your little one is going through. 
  4. Problem solve. “What do you think you can do to feel better?” There’s a good chance that the child will answer “I don’t know”. You might try and tap into their creativity by responding with “How about you pretend that you know?”. I am sometimes surprised with the imaginative responses I get from children to this question.



Now of course there has to be limits. Although a child suggesting that “you can stay with me until I fall asleep” or “I can sleep in your bed” may be acceptable for some families, if it is not appropriate for your family then you might gently say “hmm that’s a good idea but that won’t work for me because I have some things I need to do” or “that’s a good idea but that might be a bit squishy and I get pretty grumpy in the morning if I don’t get a good night’s sleep!”.  Listen to your child’s ideas and build on them if you need to until you come up with a satisfactory solution that works for both of you.  

Validating the emotion and supporting children to come up with constructive solutions increases emotional intelligence. It helps them to regulate emotions and gives confidence that they have the power to make themselves feel better.

If your child is having chronic sleep disturbances or the anxiety escalates and interferes with daily functioning then you might like to consider consulting with a child psychologist for assistance.  It may not be too long before everyone is back to getting a good night’s sleep!  

Comments are closed.
    Request an appointment!

    Categories

    All
    Abby Elder
    ACT
    Adolescence
    Alyce Galea
    Anger
    Anxiety
    App Recommendation
    Apps
    Assertiveness
    Attachment
    Autism
    Body Image
    Book Recommendation
    Breathing
    Bullying
    Burnout
    Ceren Celebi
    Child Development
    Child Safety
    Chronic Pain
    Cognitive Assessment
    Communication
    Conflict Resolution
    Cyberbullying
    Deep Pressure
    Depression
    Dietetics
    Discipline
    Eating Behaviour
    Eating Disorders
    Educational Assessment
    Emotional Intelligence
    Emotion Regulation
    Endometriosis
    Exam Stress
    Fathers
    Fear
    Gaming
    Gratitude
    Grief And Loss
    Grit
    Growth Mindset
    Hilary Sanders
    Home Education
    Infant Mental Health
    Inspirational Quotes
    Internet
    Internship
    Jacob Spinks
    Jessica Cleary
    Kara Vermaak
    LGBTIQA+
    Liz Greig
    Medicare
    Mindfulness
    Motivation
    New-years-resolution
    Nighttime-fears
    Nutrition
    Obsessive-compulsive-disorder
    Occupational Therapy
    Online Counselling
    Parenting
    Play Therapy
    Provisional Psychologist
    Relationship
    Relaxation
    Resilience
    School
    Self Care
    Self-care
    Self-esteem
    Self-harm
    Sensory Processing
    Separation Anxiety
    Sex Education
    Sexuality
    Shame
    Sibling Rivalry
    Social Media
    Social Skills
    Sport Psychology
    Stress
    Suicide
    Tamsyn White
    Telehealth
    Therapy
    Therapy Ideas
    Tim Walker
    Transgender
    Trauma
    Video Games
    Worry

    RSS Feed

MEET OUR TEAM >>
CHILD BEHAVIOUR PARENTING COURSE >>
JOIN OUR TEAM >>

Our practice values

Belonging

Courage
​
Integrity

Our services

Adult Counselling

Paediatric Counselling

Couples counselling

Autism & ADHD Assessments
​

Learning assessments

Online Parenting Course

​Dietetics & Nutrition

Contact us

Hopscotch & Harmony
​Child, Teen and Adult Psychology
​

1/167-179 Shaws Rd
Werribee 3030
​Ph: 97415222
92 Roslyn Rd
Belmont 3216
​Ph: 52416462

Fax: 03 8669 4076
​

admin@hopscotchandharmony.com.au

​Hopscotch and Harmony respectfully recognise the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the first Peoples of the continent now called Australia.
We acknowledge the Bunurong and Wadawurrung people of the Kulin Nation, the traditional owners of the land on which we work, and pay our respects to their Elders, past, present and emerging.



​© ​2023 Hopscotch and Harmony Pty Ltd
  • About us
    • Meet Our Team
    • Our Story
    • How We Are Doing
  • Clinic Services
    • Mental Health Services >
      • Child & Adolescent Counselling
      • Adult Counselling
      • Online Therapy
      • Study Without Stress Program: Yr 10-12
    • Relationship Counselling
    • Assessment Clinic >
      • Cognitive Assessments
      • Educational Assessments
      • Autism Assessments
    • Dietetics & Nutrition >
      • Teen & Adult Dietetic & Nutrition Clinic
      • Paediatric Dietetics & Nutrition
      • Feeding Clinic
    • Problem Solving Session
    • Organisational Wellness
  • Parent & Professional Learning
    • Webinars for Parents
    • Child Behaviour Course
    • Early Childhood & Schools
    • Clinical Supervision
  • Join our team
  • Blog
  • Contact
    • New Clients
    • What to Expect